In sharp response to ICE aggression, Democrats write extremely angry letter
Following the recent crackdown on anti-ICE protests following the murder of Renée Nicole Good and Alex Pretti, Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer has announced that the Democrats will respond with extreme terseness.
More specifically, Schumer promised that the Democratic Party will respond to ICE aggression with “an extremely angry letter, the likes of which has not yet been seen.”
When asked why his paper wouldn’t take more tangible action, Schumer responded, “Ever since the dawn of democracy, the youth are the ones to propel progress. And right now, I see that the youth are always posting shit on their Instagram. We hope that our letter will be reposted enough times to force Donald Trump out of office.”
According to recent reports, the letter will contain sharp criticisms of Donald Trump’s domestic and international policy. More specifically, excerpts have been leaked and include sentences such as “Kidnapping people is wrong,” “Kidnapping foreign presidents is also wrong if the CIA doesn’t do it,” “Maybe trans Americans getting a genocide warning from the Lemkin Institute is not good optics,” and “Donald Trump’s makeup keeps getting worse and worse”.
However, some have criticized the party’s response. Adam Given, a Political Science major at UChicago, shared that he distrusts this move, stating that “letters cannot impeach a president.” To address such concerns, the Democratic Party announced that the letter will be written with the help of a Yukaghir shaman who will write a spell inside the letter to make Trump feel unwell every time the letter is reposted.
“Soon enough, Trump will be gone, and we can finally say once again that our fighter jet pilots are the most diverse they have ever been,” Schumer concluded.
9 And on the seventh day, God read Janice Raymond and repented not, saying, "Verily, this woman builds better than she knows," and so promised an Empire to the transgendered.
10 And as a sign, He sent the Star of Paektu to anoint the Christ-as-Supreme-Leader, whose holy lineage would rule until the final days.
11 For it is written that the rapture shall begin when the substance named estrogen be first administered in Pyongyang, and I am but the prophet who shares this news of great salvation.
