Party Review: Obscure Fraternity Misses the Mark
By Cambria Whitcomb
April 25, 2013
The brothers of the University of Chicago’s Sampi Quoppa Stigma (ϡϘϛ) recently hosted a gathering at Regents Park. Unlike many fraternity houses, Regents Park offers entertaining space only on the 38th floor. Not to be disheartened by the mystifyingly clean and well-maintained venue, partygoers queued in the well-lit stairwell. Once inside, students were confronted by the difficulty of navigating through the hordes waiting in line for an available bathroom. Taking this as a sign that libations must be flowing within, partygoers shoved their way to the bar. There, they found that the supply of cheap beer had run out, leaving only the option of complicated-sounding mixed drinks.
Navigating through the spacious rooms became problematic, as the cleanliness of the floor nearly led to a concussion when one young lady slipped on the freshly polished parquet. Any attempts to create a “frat-like” atmosphere were unsuccessful. There was a distinct lack of the usual smoky haze, and those unfamiliar with waltzes were lost – without the option of beer pong – when music other than standard dance selections inevitably slipped into the mix. Additionally, President Humbert Moore III was occupied throughout the partykeeping the in-house catering staff from offering hors d’oeuvres to guests. The confusion of the partygoers spiraled into complete anxiety attacks in a few cases, as the hastily blacked-out windows betrayed views of the Chicago skyline and Lake Michigan.
One perplexed student commented that he was rather disappointed with the evening. “You know, I go to frat parties looking for some mediocre music, bad alcohol and maybe a simple hookup. Coming here, I feel like I should be wearing a tie. Frankly, I want my 5 bucks back.” Students leaving became surprised and rather suspicious as a friendly doorman wished them a pleasant evening. Was this an attempt to reform frat party culture or simply an unfortunate, sophomoric attempt to embody Greek life? We eagerly await ϡϘϛ’s next soirée to find out.
