UChicago Students Flock to “Bang At Anywhere Else”

By Chris Deakin

May 27, 2013

Hundreds of students are signing up for newly opened social website “Bang At Anywhere Else.” Bangatanywhereelse.com offers University of Chicago students the opportunity to find willing “bang partners” anywhere in the world that is not UChicago. The site provides a comprehensive list of locations and geographic areas, including Topeka, KS; Istanbul, Turkey; The Beach; and Bedrooms in Private Homes. The list excludes the campus of the University of Chicago. Students are excited to learn what they have always wanted to know, but were afraid to ask: are normal people willing to bang them? And, if so, will they do it somewhere off campus? The site also offers a full array of human categories users can express interest in banging: Dentists, Truck Drivers, Spouses/Committed Partners, and Anyone Who Is Not a Student or Faculty at The University of Chicago.

Second-year Jacob Freedman expressed excitement about his newly-minted membership on the website. “I can’t wait to bang someone somewhere that isn’t here. It should be really good,” Freedman said. Students maintain that the site is superior to other social media, citing its focus both on banging and on locales outside the immediate vicinity of the College. As it functions, the site registers its users’ desire to bang a specific non-University person, and allows the desired bangee to refuse or acquiesce. Users like Jacob appreciate the chance to see whether or not such foreign banging might be acceptable, or at least possible: “It’s, like, a fifty-fifty chance yes or no. Which is a pretty good chance of banging…Where UChicago is concerned, these are amazing odds.”