Phil Per Class Discussion Reaches Climax

By Zach Augustine

Nov. 9, 2013

A quickie recap of last week’s Hum class group project developed into a heated and extended session last Tuesday. Eyewitness reports indicate that Atticus Bloom and Richard Dewey’s argument escalated to a standing confrontation that threatened to dissolve the dichotomy of epistemological contradictions itself. The very fabric of knowing rippled and stretched like the Bounce-softened red-and-white flannel strained by the bulge of swift-tongued Deweys’s hardened pectorals. Sweat percolated on the thought-furrowed brow of Bloom—son of the esteemed translator of The Republic—as he thrust himself deeper and deeper into academic intercourse of the oral variety.

Sally Danderson, a first-year philosophy major last seen in public at the Reg on the Saturday night of O-Week, told the Dealer that she wasn’t used to this type of heated display of intellectualism. “Now I may be a Platonist, but there’s something beautiful about watching two well-supported men take hard stances and vigorously rebuke each other’s viewpoints. If this isn’t the path to true Beauty then I don’t know what is.” Sally’s eyes glossed over as she palmed the supple, worn-wooden table, still warm from discussion.

Sources confirm that the slow cadence and rhythm of focused rhetoric built to a fever pitch as Bloom made his final push. Danderson had much to say about the near-climax, “I mean, of course Dick is going to fundamentally agree with the rigidity of the Categorical Imperative, but you have to give Bloom credit, his refutation was as smooth and pointed as his father’s prose in Book X of The Republic. There was no questioning his dominant position . At that point, Dewey was finished.”

The Dealer approached both Bloom and Dewey afterward in the Cobb Mens’ bathroom, but they declined to comment.