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April 23, 2016
When I was a kid, I used to love baseball. Yessir, my ideal Friday was not ‘nt playing board games or running outside, it wasbut watching a San Francisco Giant or a Boston Red Soxer knock it outta the park. When I found out that some of my childhood heroes were using performance enhancing drugs to improve their play, I was devastated. It I knew it would take a hero for me to ever regain my love for baseball, and Jojo Torres is my that hero.
Jojo Torres of the New York Mets saw fans like me, and he knew that performance enhancing drugs had destroyed their love of the sport. AndSo you know what he did? He started taking drugs to make him play worse! That’s what I call love of the game right there. He does all sorts of drugs to make him a worse hitter: crack, LSD, even simple day-to-dayeveryday drugs like weed and benadryl. However, they have one thing in common: they make him a far worse baseball player.
It makes me feel like a kid again to watch him. It makes me feel like a kid to see him fail to follow a ball and strike out. It makes me feel like a kid to watch him beat up an umpire to within an inch of his life, then vomit all over the field. . It makes me feel like a kid to see him catch imaginary balls and throw to imaginary players.
The guy doess no’n‘t even limit himself to the on-regular season! During the winter and early spring, Jojo continues to show his dedication to his fans by injecting heroin or dropping acid in order to remind his fanspeople how important it is for baseball players not to takeavoid performance enhancing drugs.
Jojo’s definitely gotten the attention of baseball community. Big Papí himself, David Ortiz, told me in an email that he’d “always thought baseball players did drugs to get better. I guess you can do them to get worse too”. Jojo is totally raising awareness of a critical cause both inside and outside of the baseball community!
In fact, Jojo’s use of performance dehancing drugs has even motivated me to play baseball again andand do drugs, which I would have never thought ofconsidered before. Jojo has he saved his sport with his ingenuity and bravery. Thanks Jojo!
