University of Chicago Campus Temporarily Relocated to Rural Illinois after Muggings

By Willamina Groething

May 13, 2016

The University of Chicago campus will be moved to the University of Chicago’s Center in Wynoose, IL for the 2016-2017 academic year after several armed robberies in Hyde Park left more than 15 students and faculty members without their cell phones in Spring Quarter alone.

Jay Ellison, Dean of Students in the College, notified students on-campus of the change on May 15 via e-mail. According to the message, Dean of the College John W. Boyer, Dean Ellison, Associate Director for Student Affairs Lewis Fortner, and On-Site Coordinator of the Wynoose Center Pam Schwartz made the decision to move the program together.

“With reluctance in every case, the consensus of the group is that holding your academic year in Chicago next year would subject students to continued inconveniences and feelings unsafe, and could at best offer a highly constrained experience of Chicago,” read Dean Ellison’sEllison wrote in the e-mail.

Students must decide whether to relocate to Wynoose or to take a leave of absence from the University of Chicago for the academic year by July 22 at 5 p.m. The University has not released a statement on whether or not they will cover transportation costs or provide vehicles to transport students on the obnoxious five-hour car-ride from the city.

Students that decide to relocate to Wynoose will still be offered the regular course listings, but the Civilizations core requirement will be waived for students who agree to fulfill a number of hours volunteering with local church youth groups and high school marching bands.

While there are as of yet no definitive estimates as to the number of students who will choose to attend the University of Chicago in the unincorporated community of Wynoose in southeast Illinois, many students have expressed both their support and disagreement with the decision.

Third– year Jeremy Goldberg said, “I think the University made the right call. Obviously, it’s a hard call to make. But I mean, it’s not going to impact the quality of our education or our daily lives. It’s not like we ‘interact’ with the city as it is, and maybe getting away from it all for a few quarters will be good to help us refocus on our studies.”

Added first– year Eliya Kurusi, “For the safety of my person and my iPhone, I was beginning to really reconsider my enrollment at this university. The decision to move to the middle of bumblefuck nowhere really put my mind at ease.”

Not all students were as supportive of the decision however. Second year Britni Wallace, president of the Microawareness Microstudent Microorganization for Micropassiveaggression felt the University was only trading the frying pan for the flames,

“Once again, this administration has made it clear they think they have the authority to simply make these decisions for us. As though we don’t have the agency to decide whether we’d rather risk losing our iPhones or live in Wyn-ever it is they want us to go. Frankly, it’s patronizing.

“And what the University doesn’t realize: the rural Midwest can be extremely microaggressivehostile to people who aren’t exactly like everyone else in the rural Midwest, expecting us to simply bow down to their culture of Culvers and small talk. By moving to Wynoose, the university is just forcing the student body into a power structure none of us agreed to. There are Trump supporters in rural Illinois,” Wallace said. When asked to address how that power structure might apply to the 5000-plus members of the student body confronted with the 221 residents of Wynoose, Wallace commented, “The elite dominance of the middle-American farmer. Look it up.”

According to the College’s website, the University anticipates moving classes back to Chicago by the 2018-2019 academic year.