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Oct. 12, 2016
After pressure from the student body for more credit from their AP examinations, the College is now offering Class of 2020 students with 5’s on certain tests the option to forego their first year of socialization. The year previously served as a prerequisite to many of the College’s core curriculum, but is now being waived as the College promotes the new program, “Anybody All Needs A Little Time for Themselfves, Ideally” shortened to simply “ANAL TFTI.” The program will feature a short three –hour online course on the importance of minimizing contact with others and tactics one can take to avoid getting into situations where talking to others might be necessary.
Dean Dieean’s explained the reason for this sudden decision, saying, “I wish I could, but I can’t. I really should, but I shan’t.”
When asked about the new measure, students seemed to disagree on whether “ANAL TFTI” is a strong enough replacement for the year of human interaction. One member of the Class of 2020, who asked to remain unidentified, said, “Please stop talking to me. I got a 5 on AP Chem. I don’t need this right now.” Others argue that one year of social interactions is “vital to the development of the young adult” and “it won’t be like this in the real world” and “we do not condone the creation of intellectual safe spaces.”
The year of credit only applies to these tests: AP Physics C, AP Computer Science, AP Calculus BC, and AP Chemistry.
