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Oct. 13, 2016
Last year, campus was torn apart by a divisive and polarizing referendum. Critics have referred to it as “Pre-Brexit Brexit” and “The War Between the States Between the Trains.” It was chaos. At the time of the online vote, I was proud to stand on the side that supported U-Pass. I figured one set payment that allowed me and all my fellow students to travel freely and without limits on Chicago public transportation was an excellent idea. At the start of this school year I was thrilled to receive a shiny blue card with my name and photo on it: a golden ticket to the magical world of the CTA. But all of that changed when that card got firmly lodged in my vagina.
Now don’t get me wrong: I still really support U-Pass. I just think this is a kink in the system that needs to get fixed. Some first years didn’t receive their cards for weeks after starting classes, some of the cards didn’t seem to activate or register for a while, and mine got embedded between the walls of my vaginal canal.
You might think, “surely this ‘inconvenience’ is really only adding to the pleasure of possessing a U-Pass.” Let me quickly assure you it is not. There’s no polite way to say this: it hurts, and climbing on top of the little tap area at every turnstile and bus entry is starting to get annoying.
A lot of people have suggested this is my fault or that it couldn’t possibly be an accident. All I have to say to you is “you are incorrect.” One minute I was on the 55 bus ready to take the Red Line to Molly’s Cupcakes in Lincoln Park, the next thing I knew I was in sharp, rectangular, magnetic-strip agony. Neither I nor any other person moved my new U-PassVentra Card from my wallet to my coin purse—this was an act of God.
Do I feel more eager to explore Chicago’s seventy plus neighborhoods? Sure. Do I feel empowered knowing I can transfer buses as much as I want with no financial consequence? Absolutely. Am I seething and furious because this new and seemingly jammed addition to my body won’t even work over winter break and summer? You bet.
In conclusion, I feel this was a major oversight on the part of Student Government. Public referendums on matters as important as U-Pass are irresponsible and potentially dangerous and painful. The student body should not be left to make decisions about physical objects that can then make their way into student bodies. Additionally, if anyone has any leads on how to get a Student Health appointment, please let me know.
