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Nov. 15, 2016
Sources confirmed Saturday evening that area woman Megan McMahon drove the cap of her Burt’s Bees Vanilla Bean Moisturizing Lip Balm into the vanilla bean moisturizing lip balm, leaving an irreparable fissure in the column of beeswax-based chapstick and a large clump of chapstick on the outside of the cap.
Eyewitnesses at Shinju Sushi on 53rd Street. testified that McMahon tried to salvage the externalized lump of lip balm by spreading it with her finger onto her lips, but was largely unsuccessful in minimizing the waste, as her lips had been recently moisturized and the chapstick could not be spread evenly over her mouth.
Restaurant patron Emilio Vasquez, seated one table over from McMahon, was quoted saying, “She tried not to waste it by spreading it on her lips, but then she just wiped her fingers off anyway. So that’s like 30% of what she scraped out, probably,” said restaurant patron Emilio Vasquez, seated one table over from McMahon.
“I couldn’t get it to spread evenly. It stayed a little lumpy on my lips,” McMahon also admitted. “And I wasn’t done eating, so when I wiped that spicy mayo off my upper lip, yeah. I basically wasted all that chapstick.”
A Shinju employee who requested anonymity was watching McMahon’s table to ensure that only those who ordered the all-you-can-eat dinners were eating the all-you-can-eat sushi. She said that she believes McMahon’s own negligence caused the accident. According to the employee, McMahon looked away as she replaced the cap on her chapstick, and her hands were not coordinated enough to ensure perfect cap to tube matching. The cap instead encountered the chapstick both off-center and at an angle, permanently disfiguring the otherwise perfectly good lip balm. The employee added that McMahon failed to retract the chapstick column prior to recapping, so she was basically asking for this to happen.
McMahon and her girlfriend, who frequently borrows McMahon’s chapstick, have asked for privacy following the tragedy, but according to spokesperson and roommate Katie Chen, Megan had been talking about how she didn’t like the vanilla bean flavor that much anyway, and she only got it because CVS didn’t have peppermint, so she’ll probably be okay.
