Masthead

Editors in Chief

Griffin Bonnin Jones, Andrea Zhou

Managing Editor

Katherine Reynolds

Deputy Managing Editor

Vivian Psylos

Layout Editor

Justin Bilenker

Photo Editor

Zayna Cheema

Copy Editors

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Our Greatest Hits

Chicago Shady Dealer

+ postsBio

Chicago Shady Dealer
Disgusting Mouse Cartoon Repulses Nation
Chicago Shady Dealer
Point: Your Country’s Science Education is Lacking; Counterpoint: WE GOT THE MOON FIRST CRY ABOUT IT
Chicago Shady Dealer
U.S. Declares Victory in Cold War as Bush Shellacs Gorbachev in Potato Sack Race
Chicago Shady Dealer
Richard Nixon Dazzles Nation With Beautiful Swimsuit Bod

Read It and Weep

Top 5 Discoveries I Made When My Lyft Took Me to My Date an Hour Late
Applications Open for Admissions Office’s “Spontaneous University Compliment Squad”
ICE Deports Jesus Christ
Help! My Roommate Thinks Anthony Bourdain and Jeffery Epstein Are the Same Person
Top Five Passive-Aggressive Stares to Give to Somone Eating Too Loudly in the Reg
University of Chicago Rolls Out New “Post-Mortem Education Continuity Plan”
Heartwarming: North Resident Bravely Pulls Fire Alarm at 11 PM in Solidarity with Woodlawn
Harvard Student: If I Didn’t Want an A, I Would’ve Gone to UChicago!
Point: Cancel Classes for Snow / Counterpoint: You Knew Chicago Was Colder Than California
Econ Professor: University Could “Fix Deficit” by Repossessing Free Orientation T-Shirts

Chicago Shady Dealer

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