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Shady Classifieds: Cobb Cafe
Have you ever wanted to work at the most deeply unsettling coffee shop on campus? Are you not beautiful enough to dare step foot behind the bar at Harper? Have you always dreamed…
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Hot New Trend! Steaming Your Vag
By Breck Radulovic Jan. 30, 2018 American actress and professional white woman Gwyneth Paltrow created quite the splash in 2015 when she promoted vaginal steaming, a controversial Los Angeles spa treatment. Personally endorsed by…
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Tragedy Strikes! Area Woman Only Has Enough Batteries to Power Her Remote Control, Vibrator, or Fire Alarm
By Breck Radulovic Oct. 17, 2017 Area woman Tricia Meyers became the unfortunate victim of a resource shortage when her supply of AA batteries fell below three. Meyers, 27, had just sat down…
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Sexy Steve Irwin/Stingray Costume Pulled From Shelves
By Breck Radulovic Oct. 10, 2016 Citing a brewing “outrage tornado”, Halloween Unlimited CEO Bart Robinson ordered his franchises to stop selling the popular “Sexy Australian Reptile Finder and Scary Pointed Sea…
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Now That It’s Spring, I Should Probably Shave My Three Meters of Armpit Hair
By Breck Radulovic May 13, 2016 Hello, spring, and goodbye Old Man Winter! It’s been a long one, and so I haven’t touched a razor since mid-October. But now that it’s over…
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Five Ass Tattoos You Won’t Regret
By Breck Radulovic April 23, 2016 1. An Outline of a Hheart- Turn your own ass into a dry-erase board of love!. Ask your lover to write in their initials with sharpie, and…
