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Chalk to be replaced with humongous chalkboard
By Mark Sands April 25, 2013 The University of Chicago Office of the Registrar announced today its decision to replace the online Chalk system with a gigantic chalkboard. After cMore was closed in…
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Skrillex Performs at USO Unmanned Drone Tour
By Daniel Moattar Feb. 25, 2013 The USO Tour today staged the latest in a legendary series of musical and comedic performances for those serving the United States in military efforts overseas, in…
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Sex Advice by Ron
By Ron Feb. 4, 2013 Dear Ron Jon the Romantic, What is a Kegel? Does it hurt? Sin-cerely, Mystery Manwoman Dear MM, A kegel is when you squeeze your butt really hard and…
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University rolls out new Douchebag program to broaden mainstream appeal and seek diversity
By Robin Ye and Zach Augustine Jan. 3, 2013 In an effort to sustain the University’s historic increase in College admissions applications, administrators are working to add more programming, enhancing the Life of…
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We could make a pretty good ski team
By Bobby Zimmer Nov. 12, 2012 I know its a little early in the year to start thinking about this, but Im pretty confident that we could make a good ski team. Im…
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Report: 78% of Brita filter owners are the only ones who ever fill the damn thing
By Becky Stoner Oct. 22, 2012 A study conducted by researchers in the Division of the Social Sciences at the University of Chicago found that 78% of Brita filter owners report being the…
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First Year Drops HUMA, Claims It Does Not ‘Spark Joy’
By Emily Feigenbaum Jan. 23, 2019 Inspired by the KonMari organizational methods popularized by the Netflix series “Tidying Up with Marie Kondo,” a first-year in the College announced that she will drop her…
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How to Pretend to be Thankful Even Though Deep Down You’re a Brat
By Audrey Fromson Nov. 22, 2018 If you’re having trouble suppressing the brat in you this Thanksgiving, you’re not alone. Read on to find out how to fake it until you make…
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Into Bad Boys? Then Check out Todd: The Guy Who Throws Paper Towels All over the Fucking Ground in Harper
By Diego Mansplane Nov. 2, 2018 Tired of always making your friends and family proud? Does your love life need a little danger? Then allow us to introduce you to Todd: the guy…
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Ariana Grande Add/Drops Pete Davidson
By Diego Matamoros Oct. 15, 2018 After weeks of sleepless nights, emotional highs and lows, and one pet pig, the predictions of her academic advisor finally came to fruition: pop star Ariana…
