By Kelly Keough Nov. 9, 2013 These days, getting in to the club can be one of the most difficult achievements in a young person’s life, and has been shown to have a…

By James Ekstrom Oct. 27, 2013 Asteromance experts around the world agree that area asteroid 40670 has little to no chance of success in its recent romantic advances toward the planet Earth. While…

By Senior Director For Coffee Life Sarah Cunningham Aug. 4, 2013 Due to the overwhelming feedback we’ve received from students concerning our plans for Hallowed Grounds, the Office of the Reynolds Club and…

By Sam Spiegel May 28, 2013 Rebecca Black, best known for her pop hit “Friday,” has graduated with Johns Hopkins University’s Class of 2013 with a B.S. degree in neuroscience, with honors. Black,…

By Ayesha Wadhawan April 25, 2013 The U.S. Department of Homeland Security has declared “inevitable” an invasion of University of Chicago dining halls, naming them a “primary threat to American security.” Senior U.S.…

By Angela Wang Feb. 24, 2013 Almost nine and a half years ago, a number of the greatest UChicago minds came together for the “first, and probably only, series of interdisciplinary applied research…

By Chris Deakin Feb. 4, 2013 Check this out: kids are all about this new Minecraft thing. Have you seen this? Hold your horses, I’ll tell you, gosh. So what it’s all about…

By Catherine Alvarez-McCurdy Jan. 3, 2013 Following the positive feedback the University received upon its announcement of plans to close and destroy Pierce Tower over the upcoming summer, the Housing Office has decided…

By Stephen Lurie Nov. 11, 2012 Area man Jack Yarborough discovered this week an unexpected and unintended benefit to his Chinese take-out habit: learning Chinese. By his estimates, the 340-pound Mr. Yarborough must…

By Mark Boykin Oct. 22, 2012 At a campaign stop in St. Paul, Minnesota, yesterday, presidential hopeful Mitt Romney launched into dental rhetoric in the middle of a speech on campaign finance. In…