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Masthead

Editors in Chief

Lena Birkholz, Jacob Halabe, Maisie Thompson

Managing Editor

Andrea Zhou

Deputy Managing Editor

Griffin Bonnin Jones

Layout Editor

Abby Beckler

Deputy Layout Editor

Katherine Reynolds

Photo Editor

Zayna Cheema

Copy Editors

Justin Bilenker, Katherine Reynolds

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    MAPH student just can’t believe he lost at Scrabble

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Peter Berkowitz Feb. 24, 2013 Noah Green, a student in the Master of Arts Program in the Humanities, was devastated last Thursday by his first loss in a game of Scrabble in…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Bears Not Super Bowl Favorites Against 49ers, Ravens

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Scott Mendelssohn Feb. 3, 2013 As we anxiously await today’s matchup between the two best teams in the National Football League, one thing is for certain, few expect the Bears to win.…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Pierce Students Remain While Deconstruction Begins

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Matthew Goldenberg Dec. 17, 2012 The University of Chicago began the first phase of its new North Campus plan this Thursday, commencing the demolition of Pierce Tower. Residents of Pierce will remain…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Studying Student Shares Intimate Vertical Moment With Mansueto Window Washer

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Chris Deakin Nov. 7, 2012 This Tuesday, at 10:45 a.m., a true and vertical bond was formed between second-year College student Ralph Stevenson and two-year Mansueto window-washing veteran Mike Howard.Time stood still…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Aaron Sorkin Launches New Show: ‘Aaron Sorkin’

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Daniel Betancourt Oct. 16, 2012 NEW YORK, N.Y. — Academy Award-winning screenwriter Aaron Sorkin announced last week the launch of his new television, Aaron Sorkin, to air Fridays on NBC in the…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Karl Lagerfeld Distraught to Discover Heaven Uniform Includes Sweatpants

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Sophia Lubarr Feb. 20, 2019          Karl Lagerfeld, legendary Chanel director and force unto himself, passed away today at a very fashionable and critically acclaimed 85.   A source…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Kim and Kanye West Move to Hyde Park

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Sylvia Ebenbach Dec. 5, 2018 Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have already begun their move to the cold, dreary city of Chicago and have chosen an optimal location that fully embodies the weather:…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Area Man “Basically” Off the Grid

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Harry Weinstein Nov. 2, 2018 Claiming that he lives independently from social media these days, 39 year-old local resident Matt Dewey said it’s been “pretty freeing to just be here, in the…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    This Was Never Our Intention: An Official Statement from Quizlet

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Breck Radulovic Oct. 22, 2018   To the University of Chicago community, We at Quizlet would like to express our deepest apologies for the vile content hosted on our site in recent…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    New Residence Hall Located in Dean Boyer’s Tender Embrace

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Thomas Noriega Sept. 24, 2018   In response to the recent housing crisis at the University, College Housing has announced that, as of the 2018-2019 school year, students may apply to live…

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  • Virtual Reality Game Sucker Debuts to Much Fanfare
  • Hear! Hear! Selling 10 Packs of Light Bulbs for the Low Price of $1500
  • UChicago Requires Library+ to Access Books
  • Point: We Should Increase Fire Drills/Counterpoint: Let’s Add A Gym Requirement Instead
  • Apply for the Royal Internship
  • Bridge Between Quad and Reg Somehow Collapses Despite Being Solid Road
  • “Back to Basics” Aims of Education Address Stresses, Shapes, Counting

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