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Editors in Chief

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Managing Editor

Antonia Romm

Deputy Managing Editor

Katherine Timm

Layout Editor

Shayaan Gandhi

Photo Editor

Maddy Boneck

Copy Editor

Matilda Robinson

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Historical Issue

  • Historical Issue

    Say It With Me: Zero-Hours Contract is the Best Contract!

    Chicago Shady Dealer / July 3, 2025
    read more
  • Historical Issue

    Automated Bobbin-Changing Equipment Threatens Job Security of 9-Year-Olds

    Chicago Shady Dealer / July 1, 2025
    read more
  • Historical Issue

    Wilhelm Crashenblimpen Appointed Captain Of The Hindenburg

    Chicago Shady Dealer / June 30, 2025
    read more
  • Historical Issue

    Alexander Hamilton Reviews Hamilton: “Wait, they did what?”

    Chicago Shady Dealer / June 29, 2025
    read more
  • Historical Issue

    After Success Of First Novel, George Orwell Announces Publication Of “1984 2: This Time It’s Personal”

    Chicago Shady Dealer / June 27, 2025
    read more
  • Historical Issue

    Stephen Cole Kleene Invents Formal Languages, Causing War

    Chicago Shady Dealer / June 26, 2025
    read more
  • Historical Issue

    Mozart Annihilates Beethoven in Searing New Diss Track “Piano Sonata No. 9”

    Chicago Shady Dealer / June 5, 2024
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  • Historical Issue

    Ask Senator McCarthy: Is My Mom Communist?

    Chicago Shady Dealer / June 5, 2024
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  • Historical Issue

    Who Is This Man With Opposable Thumbs and Why Is He So Much Better Than the Rest of Us at Foraging?

    Chicago Shady Dealer / June 5, 2024
    read more
  • Historical Issue

    Letter from Cain to Abel Discovered in Sacrificial Lamb Pit

    Chicago Shady Dealer / June 4, 2024
    read more
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