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Masthead

Editors in Chief

Lena Birkholz, Jacob Halabe, Maisie Thompson

Managing Editor

Andrea Zhou

Deputy Managing Editor

Griffin Bonnin Jones

Layout Editor

Abby Beckler

Deputy Layout Editor

Katherine Reynolds

Photo Editor

Zayna Cheema

Copy Editors

Justin Bilenker, Katherine Reynolds

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

  • Campus Life

    How Short Is Too Short? Dressing for Office Hours

    Breck Radulovic / March 16, 2013

      By Breck Radulovic Aug. 28, 2017 When it comes to grading, it’s no secret that professors can be cruel, arbitrary, and entirely motivated by lust for their young, nubile students. So, how’s…

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  • Campus Life

    Waffle House Replaces Saieh Hall for Economics

    Breck Radulovic / March 16, 2013

      By Breck Radulovic March 26, 2017 University of Chicago President Robert Zimmer announced the opening of Waffle House, a 24-hour diner chain, at 5757 S. University Ave. at a press conference on…

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  • Politics

    What are Your Favorite Presidential Candidates Doing Over Winter Break?

    Breck Radulovic / March 16, 2013

    By Breck Radulovic Nov. 19, 2015 10. This holiday season, Jeb Bush will avoid appearing in any family photos. 9. In a break from Trump family tradition, the Donald will give Christmas presents…

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  • Campus Life

    University Bans Pornography from UChicago Secure

    Breck Radulovic / March 16, 2013

    By Breck Radulovic Sept. 24, 2018 In a letter distributed to incoming first-years, the University of Chicago announced new penalties for students caught streaming pornography on university internet connections. The letter signed by…

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Newer Posts 

Read It and Weep

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  • Richard Nixon Dazzles Nation With Beautiful Swimsuit Bod
  • Pigs Rooted Out of Truffle-Hunting Business by Sick New Dog Breed
  • New Statement From Hitler: “After Poland I’m Done Bro, Trust Me Bro, Deadass”
  • They wouldn’t let me into the Donner party and I am IRATE
  • Crazy New Party Drug Also Good for Surgery
  • 5 Tips to Make Sure You’re the King’s Top Mistress
  • Simone De Beauvoir Cancels Long-Awaited Sequel The Third Sex
  • Union Army Morale Skyrockets After President Lincoln’s Stunning Kazoo Solo
  • New Whig Political Party Objectively Has Stupidest Name

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