By Ryan Fleishman Oct. 31, 2015 Last Thursday, Dean Boyer and his fellow rulers of The University of Chicago have = banned all forms of lactose-intolerance, ranging from mild lactose-aversion to full blown…

By Evan Bernstein Dec. 24, 2013 Citing the stress of midterms and the “total need for some chillaxing,” Dean Boyer has declared a campus-wide “weed weekend” beginning January 16th, 2014. Although the traditional…

By Deblina Mukherjee May 5, 2018 Hyde Park, 2018 For more than 265 years, University of Chicago alumni have contributed extensively to the life of the University and to the larger society. Today,…

By Reed Thurston Nov. 1, 2016 Russian Cyber-Intelligence Retaliation Reveals 4 of 11 Secret Herbs & SpicesWASHINGTON, D.C.— Following the virtual attack which leaked politically sensitive information from the Democratic National Committee in…

By Anna Belle Newport July 17, 2015 The University of Chicago Office of Admissions, after releasing statistics on the incoming class of 2019 on Tuesday, claims to have the most globally experienced cohort…

By Ayesha Wadhawan Aug. 2, 2013 In the early days of the 2013-14 academic year, the proportion of O-Week hook-ups between individuals of the same house has reached a shocking low of 95%.…

By Reva and David Logan Center for the Arts Jan. 30, 2018 Tired of all the hard work? Looking for a way to unwind this winter quarter? Then be sure to drop by…

By Matthew Goldenberg and Walker King Aug. 17, 2015 Dear Members of the UChicago Community, It’s with a heavy heart that we announce the return of the Chicago Shady Dealer for another year…

By [email protected] March 1, 2015 Stop reading this article right now if u read it to the end you will be CURSED. Morgan was a newspaper editor who killed herself Twenty years ago…

By Kim Jong-un Feb. 24, 2013 Professor? Hey, professor? I was just wondering – about that test last week? Yeah, the nuclear test. We had to set off the device underground and everything…