By By Reed Thurston Oct. 17, 2017 According to our political correspondents in Washington, D.C., the ongoing federal Investigation into Russia’s 2016 election interferenceinfluence made new headway earlier this week i in the…

By Willamina Groething May 13, 2016 The University of Chicago campus will be moved to the University of Chicago’s Center in Wynoose, IL for the 2016-2017 academic year after several armed robberies in…

By Christopher Walker Dec. 31, 2014 After more than a decade of research, physicists at Fermilab have concluded that Fox News broadcasts are composed of neither journalism nor entertainment. “The experiment began when…

By Clay Olsen Jan. 3, 2013 In a development entirely consistent with the University of Chicago’’s commitment to the “Life of the Head”, the book retrieval robots in Mansueto have been revealed, by…

By Ryan Fleishman April 22, 2017 8 Famous Paintings I Accidentally Dropped Down The Stairso Mona Lisa §Mona Lisa The Mona Lisa is widely considered the finest painting in all creation, so I…

By Edward of Borsky, 1427 Jan. 22, 2016 Ha! ‘Tis a Lark! ‘Tis Woe! You’re foiled, My foe! For thou Hast bringeth a sword to a slightly longer sword fight! ‘Tis a fate,…

By Daniel Moattar May 14, 2014 The editorial staff of The Chicago Shady Dealer is innocent, the balance of evidence suggests. The evidence, which is largely circumstantial, hinges on an unprovable assertion that…

By Audrey Fromson Nov. 22, 2018   If you’re having trouble suppressing the brat in you this Thanksgiving, you’re not alone. Read on to find out how to fake it until you make…

By Reed Thurston Feb. 1, 2017 President Trump Holds Press Conference To Read List of Black Friends In the wake of a turbulent and unnerving transition of power, the newly-elected President Donald Trump…

By Daniel Ruttenberg Nov. 12, 2015 I’ve let this go on for long enough, Pat. I know you’re just jacking off in your room. I’m not buying the “sexile” routine again. You really…