The Chicago Shady Dealer
  • Home
  • Online Only
  • About Us
  • Previous Issues
  • Our Greatest Hits
  • Submissions
  • Home
  • Online Only
  • About Us
  • Previous Issues
  • Our Greatest Hits
  • Submissions

Masthead

Editors in Chief

Griffin Bonnin Jones, Andrea Zhou

Managing Editor

Katherine Reynolds

Deputy Managing Editor

Vivian Psylos

Layout Editor

Justin Bilenker

Photo Editor

Zayna Cheema

Copy Editors

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Students Fight to Save Summer Lynx

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Alex Dunlap Feb. 22, 2014 A group calling itself “Save the Summer Lynx” has raised concerns that changes in University policy may pose an “existential threat” to the future of the endangered…

    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Seven Places You MUST Barf This O-Week

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Deblina Mukherjee Sept. 24, 2018   Navigating the University’s historic campus can be hard, especially during the hustle and bustle of O-Week! To learn your way around, here are the seven places…

    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Op-Ed: Why is Everyone in My Family Thankful for Greg Kinnear?

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Nik Varley Nov. 25, 2016 Don’t get me wrong, I love Thanksgiving.  I love getting a break from classes, eating loads of food and spending time with my old friends.  However, more…

    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Jim Webb Eats Large, Sloppy Sandwich

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Nik Varley Oct. 16, 2015 Viewers of last night’s Ddemocratic debate were surprised to see presidential hopeful Jim Webb eating a large, sloppy meatball sub throughout the event. Several minutes into the…

    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Monsanto Launches New GM-O’s Breakfast Cereal

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Alex Hearn Nov. 9, 2013 At this weekend’s Grain and Cereal Convention, the Monsanto Company unveiled “GM-O’s,” its flagship brand in a new line of genetically-modified breakfast cereals. “We at Monsanto are…

    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    University Drug Ring Bust Yields Over 30 Pounds Of Raw Prozac

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Ryan Fleishman Feb. 20, 2018 Prozac In a sting operation planned over the course of seven months, the University of Chicago Police Department (UCPD) finally took down a massive University drug ring…

    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Letter From the Office of Admissions

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Dean Nondorf Aug. 21, 2016 Dear incoming first-years, Welcome to the University of Chicago! We hope your journeys to Hyde Park were intellectually stimulating. You’ll need a clever anecdote to share with…

    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Amazon Announces Plans to Ship Consumers Directly to Product

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Chris Deakin March 1, 2015 In a press conference this morning, Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos announced that the online retailer will begin delivery of clients to their desired product as early as…

    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Things That UChicago Crushes

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Maya Handa and Becky Stoner April 23, 2013 Hopes Dreams Hearts Livers Everything on this list that is not also a sandwich Paninis The old USPS building Economic activity on 63rd Street…

    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Opinion: Call Me a Millennial Again, and I Will Summon the Pumpkin Lord

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Jacob Johnson Oct. 17, 2017 As a twenty-year-old living in this country, I am so fed up with being labeled as a “millennial.””. The term has grown to encapsulate everyone in my…

    read more
 Older Posts
Newer Posts 

Read It and Weep

  • Professor Who Takes Ten Weeks to Grade Papers Shocked by Late Assignment
  • Everyone Saw You Press “No Tip”
  • Study Reveals 90% of Group Project Work Done by One Sad Student
  • Bartlett to Follow Agriculture Department Advice: Meals to Feature Tortilla, Broccoli, and Maybe Chicken
  • Parents Befriend Student’s Least Favorite Professor During Model Class
  • Trump to fire all Via drivers amid government shutdown
  • CTA Transit Bill Stalls Over Whether Chartreuse or Magenta Is Better Name for Line
  • Point: I Want a Situationship / Counterpoint: I Think I’m in Love with Her
  • I only know Jeffrey, WHO THE FUCK IS MARK EPSTEIN?
  • 6 moral systems that say it’s okay for me to work for Raytheon

Chicago Shady Dealer

  • Home
  • Online Only
  • About Us
  • Previous Issues
  • Our Greatest Hits
  • Submissions

Archives

Categories

For Writers

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
© 2026 Chicago Shady Dealer
  • Home
  • Online Only
  • About Us
  • Previous Issues
  • Our Greatest Hits
  • Submissions
Ashe Theme by WP Royal.