By Walker King Feb. 22, 2014 Speaking to members of the press yesterday,University Dean John Boyer announced that the University of Chicago would be reopening its anatomy department in the basement of Boyer’s…

By Andy Hatem Sept. 24, 2018   Trying to decide if you should stay in housing next year? Check College Housing’s site for a deal you won’t want to miss! In the past,…

By Milena Pross Nov. 15, 2016 I was recently informed that many students, specifically biological science majors, are frequently given the opportunity to wear gloves and dissect hearts, brains, eyes, and other organs…

By Ashwin Rao Oct. 12, 2015 Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders was mysteriously missing from the stage at the first Democratic Presidential Primary Debate. The debate began with a camera pan to reveal that…

By Mark Sands Nov. 9, 2013 A massive, longitudinal study has determined that Todd Johnson, a third-year in the College, has live leads thehardest most difficult life of any University of Chicago student.…

By Jughead Greg April 20, 2018 A Swift Rapture University coffee shop Grounds of Being rose into the sky this past Sunday, in what observers have called the greatest modern miracle since The Wire. …

By Daniel Ruttenberg Oct. 12, 2016 Well, dating just got a whole lot easier! :). Dating apps like Tinder and Coffee Meets Bagel have made it a lot easier to find your special…

By Zelda April 27, 2015 Aquarium: Your soul mate was born today. Pervert. Pieces: Turn left in 0.5 miles. Your destination will be on the right. Keep an eye out for stop signs,…

By Stephen Lurie April 29, 2013 In a move that is bound to shock the homosexual world, Senator Tammy Baldwin has revealed that she is a professional basketball player for the Milwaukee Bucks…

By Dan Lastres & Milena Pross Oct. 17, 2017 Dear Dan, How are you? My first few weeks of class have been good but stressful. At first I took four classes, but now…