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A Letter from the Vice Provost on Manifest Destiny: “To the Maroons of the Future”
By Killian Makepeace Warburton May 5, 2018 Chicago, 1895 The Shady Dealer staff was digging up the foundations of Cobb for no particular reason, and discovered a small metal capsule containing a letter…
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New in Literature: Fifty Shades of Maroon, a Glimpse into the Secret Life of Dean John W. Boyer
By M.E.M.E. Oct. 17, 2016 When a third3rd year Shady Dealer reporter goes to interview American historian and Dean of the College at the University of Chicago, John W. Boyer, he encounters a…
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Date Ruined by Date
By Evan Bernstein May 26, 2015 According to sources who wish to remain anonymous, everything was set up perfectly for Julia Meyer’s date last Saturday. There were candles on the table, she was…
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Study: Over 85% of IM Frisbee Participants Have No Idea What’s Going On
By Zach Augustine June 2, 2013 HYDE PARK—Recent studies suggest that over three-quarters of participants in Coed Intramural Frisbee Leagues “don’t even know how to throw”. Multiple firstyear girls, coerced to play in…
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Zero Waste Redemption: How I Fit a Year of My Trash in a Mason Jar
By Ella Hester Jan. 29, 2018 When I went zero waste at the beginning of 2017, I wasn’t just embarking on a fresh start: I was literally running from the law! I needed…
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Five Questions I Would Ask My Doctor If He Were Still Answering My Emails
By Morgan Pantuck June 29, 2016 1. Do I have 1. Do I have restless leg syndrome? My leg wiggles a lot. Well, not a ton, but more than usual. I’d say a…
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Kentucky Derby Ends in Catastrophe
By Dan Lastres Feb. 2, 2015 LOUISVILLE MAY 18, 2218 — Disaster struck yesterday at the 344th annual Kentucky Derby when one of the galloping equine cyborgs malfunctioned and exploded just 30 seconds…
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Meeting Minutes – October 10, 2000
By Design Committee – Gerald Ratner Athletics Center Feb. 6, 2013 ADMINISTRATION BUILDING, ROOM 301 Attendees Chairman of the Board of Trustees: Edgar D. Jannotta Vice-Chairman of the Board of Trustees: James S.…
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Why A Woman Needs to Have Her Own Study Spot
By Katie Zellner and Morgan Pantuck March 16, 2017 It’s an easy relationship trap to fall into: You’re busy, he’s busy. You basically only see each other at the Reg. Studying together is…
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Marijuana Rescheduled
By Nico Aldape April 20, 2016 IInspired by the proposedhow the federal government may move of marijuana from a Schedule I to Schedule II controlled substance, which would allow for further recreational use…
