By Woodlawn Resident April 27, 2013 I’ve been expressing strong desires for a number of things recently. I said I’d like the University to acquire and develop less than one hundred percent of…

By Antonia Salisbury Oct. 17, 2017 Home of the day-ger, land of the neon bikini: – Miami, my Garden of Eden, I can never return to you. “Settled in the valley of two…

By Katie Zellner May 13, 2016 Since the dawn of man, there has been debate about the value of a liberal arts education, and, as a UChicago aAlumnaus, I just want to say…

By Shady Dealer Editorial Board Jan. 10, 2015 At the moment we exit the womb, we enter into a pervasive societal delusion. The mothers who raise us and nurture us also claim to…

By Robin Ye and Zach Augustine Jan. 3, 2013 In an effort to sustain the University’’s historic increase in College admissions applications, administrators are working to add more programming, enhancing the “Life of…

By Morgan Pantuck May 8, 2017 Reckless Partygoer Blindly Presses Apartment BuzzerBy Morgan Pantuck Onlookers were shocked earlier this weekend when local partygoer Josh Casey pressed an apartment buzzer and allowed several unknown…

By Abigail Fitsworth Feb. 18, 2016 Dear Sir or Madam: Upon moving into residential housing as a first year, I was delighted to learn about the existence of “Wellczars,” such as yourself, whose…

By Isaac Krone Oct. 24, 2014 This Thursday, tech giant Apple Inc. astonished the world by unveiling a revolutionary cloud-based system for delivering water to farmers in developing and industrialized nations. At a…

By Sophia Lubarr Feb. 20, 2019          Karl Lagerfeld, legendary Chanel director and force unto himself, passed away today at a very fashionable and critically acclaimed 85.   A source…

By Trojans, 1300 BCE Feb. 6, 2017 Hey guys, you see this? By Aphrodite’s large busty blessing, how are we so lucky?. LOOK AT THIS BIG-G– ASS MOTHERFUCKING HORSE. What do you mean,…