Virtual Reality Game Sucker Debuts to Much Fanfare

Virtual reality game designer Beaverly Buck proudly released her newest game VR Sucker last Sunday. Each VR set includes a vacuum hose attached to its headset, which has the ability to “suck” animals through a hose and into the game—a necessity if the player wishes to craft.

“My kids hated going outside,” Buck said when asked how she’d arrived at the concept for the game. “I asked ‘em if they’d go outside if their game needed it, and they said ‘hell yeah’… so I invented this sucker! It’ll suck up animals and spit ‘em into the game. And think how many bees and wasps there are in the summer. They ain’t comin’ back with us ‘round. They might have ‘em stingers, but we have ‘em suckers. It’s like Joe Johnston’s Jumanji (1995) but real!”

Testers—consisting primarily of those between the ages 16 and 21—have left generally positive reviews. 16-year-old Poacher Hills enthusiastically wrote: “I can’t believe that this wasn’t invented sooner! Suck ‘em all up, that’s what I’ve been saying since I was 4.”