New Humanities Core Sequence for STEM Majors Will Teach Punctuation

UChicago has announced that it will begin offering a Humanities Core sequence aimed specifically at grammatically challenged STEM Majors. The new course sequence will cover concepts that STEM students might not have learned, like where to use periods and how to use verbs other than “to be.” The sequence will comprise three courses introducing new forms of grammar like commas, with its capstone covering nouns and verbs.

“Even just taking the first course will put the students ahead of most scientists in their field,” said Michael Holebut, the Senior Advisor to College’s Core Sequences.

Yet current STEM students in the College are unhappy with this extra attention. “Everyone knows how to use semicolons. Of course they can be used in any part of a serious sentence,” said John Rider, a Physics major. “My parents will definitely be disappointed in what UChicago is making me learn.”

“I have good words! Humanities bad!” protested Pat Greeneberg, a Bio major.