Sex and Love

How to Find True Love by Mansplaining Pool in Hallowed Grounds

  1. Never have played pool in your entire life. 
  2. Have a confident air about you — something mysterious (and sexy), like Tom Cruise in The Color of Money.
    1. A note: It’s actually OK if you’ve never played pool before, as long as you’ve watched the 120-minute pool masterpiece that is The Color of Money.
  3. Explain the rules of pool to anyone standing vaguely close to the billiards table using the most sexual innuendos possible. 
    1. You don’t have to try too hard here…this game is literally a competition to see who can get all their balls into the holes first.
  4. Casually slip in the fact that you’re in Physics 12100 and begin to explain (in your sultriest voice possible) all about “ball collision theory,” “the sweet spot,” and “relative slipping analysis.” So sexy.
    1. Another note: This step must take longer than 30 minutes to complete.
  5. Invest in a pool glove. buy a pool table. Move your twin XL bed out of your dorm room, into the hallway, and replace it with your newly acquired pool table. Eat. Hallowed Grounds Coffee. Sleep on pool table. Pool. Women(!) Repeat.