MAB Bans Non-Black Concertgoers from Saying N-Word at Summer Breeze, Causes Stir

In an effort to make Summer Breeze more enjoyable for Black students, the Major Activities Board has announced that non-Black students saying the N-word when reciting song lyrics will be asked to leave the premises. “Our university consistently neglects the needs of Black students. They shouldn’t be subjected to hearing slurs at both frat parties and concerts,” the memo opened. Attendees will be asked to sign a document before the spring festival agreeing not to say the word, and MAB will station lip readers throughout the crowd for the event’s entire duration. Racially ambiguous students will be required to not only show a picture of both Black parents but be put beside a Family Guy meme-style color chart.

Students’ reactions have been far from positive.

“I think this restriction is unfair. My friend group is very unfiltered about everything, including race. This isn’t the way to solve racial issues,” says third-year student Lucille Stevens. When asked if anyone in her friend group was Black, Lucille declined to comment.

“I just feel like this is a slippery slope. First they ban the N-word during concerts, and next thing you know, we can’t use it in SOSC,” commented Walter Chang, a fourth-year physics and economics double major. “Plus, I always thought that the version that ends in an -a instead of an -r is totally fine.”

Faculty members also came out against the requirement. Associate professor Dorian Abbot stated to the Dealer: “These are the consequences of diversity. If no Black students were admitted to UChicago, this wouldn’t even be a problem.” Some groups, however, were more positive. When asking the executive boards of OBS and ACSA about their feelings on the new measure, the only comments offered were “Good” and “Why didn’t MAB book the other half of Rae Sremmurd?”