Chicago Shady Dealer

Guy in Practice Room Humored by Neighbor’s Feeble Attempt At Music

“How cute,” thought Jeff Herbert, a second year living in Campus North Residential Commons, as he overheard the music coming from the room over. “They really let anybody play in these practice rooms nowadays.”

It was clear to Herbert that the novice pianist beside him had not taken their craft as seriously as himself and was simply utilizing the room to either insult Mozart personally or bolster the ego of every other piano protege who happened to be waiting for the elevator — a number ranging from 10 to 50 at any given time. “I mean, who do they think they are?” Herbert asked when reached for comment. “I could play that sonata before I could read (at age 3).”

When the neighboring pianist finally worked up the courage to leave the practice room, they were shocked to see Herbert standing outside, trying and failing not to look disgusted. “Best of luck with that piece,” he sneered. “It takes a lot of balls to play something like that around here.”

The now sobbing pianist declined to comment but could be heard, faintly in the distance, murmuring  “dead grandfather” and “favorite piece.”

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