New Passive Investing RSO Proves Profitable, “Incredibly Boring”

HYDE PARK – UChicago has never had a shortage of investment clubs ready to launch students towards careers in finance, high-paying jobs on Wall Street, and inevitable burnout by age 30. So it should come as no surprise this quarter that two second-year students have taken it upon themselves to found yet another finance RSO. It’s called Phoenix Indexes, and its goal is to teach students the ‘tricks of the trade’ in the world of passive investing.

The club shares an origin story with practically every financial RSO. “Phoenix Indexes was founded to solve one key problem: we were rejected from the Blue Chips,” said Ian Vester, PI’s president. “But we realized we could do better with little to no effort: just invest in the entire market at once, sit back, and relax.” According to early reports from both clubs, PI indeed out-earned the Blue Chips, one of UChicago’s active investment clubs, by a small margin.

The problem? They’re having trouble figuring out what to do during meetings. “We bought an ETF at the start of the quarter. It consists of a diversified portfolio largely representative of the U.S. and international markets,” explained club vice president Hans Idle. “We teach members about how we shouldn’t touch that investment under most circumstances.”

For some students, PI’s unearned resume boost is enough to join. But many feel that, though the club was exciting at the outset, it’s just too boring for its own good. “We make a fair amount of money, sure,” said Vester, “but it’s been hard to convince people to come to our meetings. We mostly just sit around and watch CNBC.”

Phoenix Indexes meets Wednesday nights on Zoom from 8:00 to 8:05 PM.