UChicago Conversations: First Year Impressions vs. Fourth Year Realities
The First Year Version:
Scene: Anywhere in Hyde Park, yet somehow always walking towards the Reg
Person #1: Hi!
Person #2: Hey!
#1: What’s up?
#2: Nothing much… It’s just that it’s (some number between 3rd-9th) week and I’m completely swamped!
#1: [must one-up previous stress level by at least a factor of 3] yeah, no kidding! Plus have you seen (insert news article
to make him seem worldly and intelligent)
#2: [has not seen article but pretends to, but not so subtly changes topic to some other BS current event that they
know something about]
#1: Wow! [pretends to know and one-ups “friend”, then changes topic to something pop culture-related to avoid
potential scenario where they have to pretend that they actually know important stuff]
#2 [Nods in perpetual agreement]
Random Person enters.
Random Person: [turns some random pop culture reference into something political and/or theoretical.]
#2 [Whips head around] Sorry? I didn’t catch that — did you say that was (insert random philosopher/politician’s)
argument? Because here’s why you’re wrong [proceeds to prove the random person wrong in brutal fashion]
What Actually Happens:
Person #1: I’m hungry, are you?
Person #2: Yeah, I have class from 9am to 9pm so I need to eat now.
Person #1: Food truck or dining hall?
Person #2: I brought Tupperware.