Who’s Left? 5 Celebrities You Can Still Worship

By Jacob Johnson

Feb. 20, 2018

It’s been a revealing few months for celebrity worshippers out there. With a slew of scandals and abuse stories coming out, you might be wondering: who’s left for me to make a giant shrine of in my bedroom? Whose posters will I be able to put up in my house without it turning out to be a huge mistake the following month? Don’t sweat it. We’ve got you covered. Here’s a list of five living celebrities that are guaranteed not to turn into monstrous versions of themselves within a week:

1. Corbin Bleu

Can you say “crème brulée?” This guy made all of our hearts melt in the High School Musical series, and has kind of just been coasting ever since with some musical albums, films, and charity work. Plus, look at that smile! That is the smile of a man who definitely will not do something so unspeakably terrible you’d feel bad for ever having liked him at all. You go, Corbin!

2. Robin Williams

I haven’t seen much of this guy lately, but man, what an all-around great human being. Williams has played countless whimsical, hilarious characters and has a lot of heart. I don’t know if it’s a gut feeling or what, but something tells me that this man will not be committing any atrocities at any time in the future.

3. Tabitha Peterson

Tabitha is a pharmacist from Saint Paul, Minnesota, who also happens to be on the 2018 Olympic Women’s Curling Team for the U.S.! In 2017, she placed 5th in the Women’s World Curling Championship. She works hard, has a good head on her shoulders, and has never killed anyone by hitting them over the head with a shovel. If you’re gonna root for someone, why not root for Tabitha?

4. Brant

When he was in sixth grade, Brant got his start as “Applauding Audience Member #4” in Rob Reiner’s production of Flipped. Now 29, Brant is still on the hunt for his next acting gig, but from what I can tell from his masterful 1.73 seconds of screen time, he’s got a bright future ahead of him. Let’s all root for Brant, and pray that the fame and money from his illustrious acting career haven’t corrupted his soul and caused him to develop a near-sociopathic sense of right and wrong.

5. The Dog From Air Bud

This adorable golden retriever used to have a habit of getting a little too friendly with people’s legs. Then, he had his balls removed. Problem solved! Here’s hoping that Buddy’s treatment will be used on male celebrities everywhere.