Urine-leaking Box Surprisingly Does Not Contain Puppy

By Matthew Goldenberg

Dec. 26, 2014

When he entered his living room on Christmas morning, Tommy Harrison found that the urine-leaking box under his tree did not, in fact, contain a puppy.

Tommy, 9, explained that when he entered the room, the stench of urine immediately struck him. Upon further examination Tommy found the source of the smell: a slowly growing puddle of pee leaking from a cardboard box underneath the Christmas tree.

“My first thought was: PUPPY!” Tommy said. “But when I opened the box, there was no puppy.”

Tommy expressed his bewilderment to his parents, James and Catherine Harrison, who confirmed to The Dealer that there was indeed no puppy in a box that was leaking what was unquestionably the urinary liquid of an animal.

Mr. Harrison elaborated, “We knew that Tommy wanted a pet of some sort but a puppy just wasn’t going to work with our current living situation.”

Mr. Harrison also said that he did not want to have to be the one who walked the dog every morning.

When asked to say why they decided to go with this gift for their son, Catherine was coy. “We felt that this was a beautiful expression of holiday spirit. Puppies are rather traditional—something that every body has done— but this is new and exciting.”

Given his disappointment with the gift, Tommy had a very positive outlook on the situation.

“This will teach me valuable life skills,” Tommy said. “Dad says I need to be prepared for whatever curveball life or Santa throws at me.”

As of press time, the box in question had pooped.