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April 20, 2017
Student Asks Mugger If He Takes Venmo 55th and Maryland – At approximately 8:47 PM, eyewitnesses told the Dealer that student Todd Greenblatt was mugged on his way to his apartment. Greenblatt, apparently flustered and annoyed at the situation, asked the mugger if he would accept payment over Venmo.
“It was pretty intense,” said Greenblatt, safely back at this apartment. “This dude came out of nowhere and started yelling at me to give him all my money. And, like, I had cash to give him, but if I gave him that I’d have to hit the ATM which is honestly such a hassle. So I just asked him if he took Venmo.”
The mugger reportedly responded, “What the fuck is Venmo?” rhe mugger reportedly responded the mugger, prompting Greenblatt to explain to him – amid copious eye-rolling – that Venmo is a popular payment app frequently used by students to transfer small amounts of money.
“I was like, what the shit? How do you not have Venmo?” continued Greenblatt. “This city is so behind the times; back home on Long Island, everybody has Venmo. I tried to explain to him that I had a bunch of Venmo credit and that it would be way easier for me than giving him cash, but he just gave me this blank look. Ugh, it was the absolute worst.”
Greenblatt then asked the mugger if he would accept a credit card, to no avail.
“That was honestly just rude. I mean, I get that some places don’t take AmEx, but I use a damn Visa. Who doesn’t take Visa? Like, come on guy, meet me halfway here. Are you fucking Amish or something?”
The mugger then proceeded to beat the ever-loving shit out of Todd, reportedly taking his phone, wallet, watch, Patagonia pullover and $400 Supreme hat. UCPD are currently investigating the incident.
