President Obama Arrested for Climbing Main Quad Maple

By Willamina Groething

Oct. 24, 2014

President Obama’s recent Chicago visit was interrupted Sunday by what White House officials are calling a “misunderstanding” with the University of Chicago Police Department.

The UCPD responded to a call at 10:53 p.m. on October 19, and arrived on the Main Quad to find the the leader of the free world seated in the branches of a small maple tree, giggling and smoking a cigarette.

Officersresponded per departmental protocol, surrounding the tree and demanding that the President return to the ground.

Several witnesses report that despite the former University of Chicago Law School lecturer’s citation of his “right to climb,” UCPD officers proceeded to apply handcuffs and escort him to a waiting campus police vehicle.

Passers-by reported hearing President Obama “mumble something” concerning “the land of the free” as police and two black-suited agents conducted a brief exchange, eventually returning the President to Secret Service custody.

Obamareemerged Monday morning to cast his early vote for the midterm elections.

Prompted for comment on the incident, a Secret Service spokesperson said,, “Breaches of security at the President’s Hyde Park home are exceptionally rare. We are taking steps to ensure this will not happen again.”