Horoscopes: Marxist Tattoo Edition

By Ella Hester

Jan. 29, 2018

Ready to show off your everlasting love for your SOSC buddy, Marx? Here’s your guide to picking the commie tattoo that best represents you!

Aries: Adam Smith’s Hand on Fire

Put this gem on your bicep so everyone knows about your fiery dedication to the cause!

Leo: “M” Next to Your Mouth

Face tattoo? Bold. But you know what you’re about. Money exchanged means money earned, and that’s got to change! Run and tell everyone, you motor mouth.

Sagittarius: “Revolution” Under the Infinity Symbol

You know the rev is coming soon–it’s inevitable! Your faith is inspiring.

Gemini: Marx’s Face on Your Stomach With a Belly Button Mouth

This one is SO fun. Great conversation starter. You can make him say whatever you want! You’ll love the interactive experience this tattoo offers.

Libra: “Comrades” with Arrows Pointed Towards Breasts

Flirty, but educational?

Aquarius: Knuckle Tattoo that Spells Out “Class”

When the Revolution comes, the upper class won’t know what hit them! (It was you. You hit them. Turning your thoughts into action, hell yeah.)

Taurus: “Means of Production” Tramp Stamp

Everyone will know you mean business when you get this tattoo. No dilly-dallying around this essential concept. You definitely did the reading, and you need people to know it.

Virgo: “Exchange Value” on Inside of Palm

Whenever you exchange money for goods and services, you’ll have a gentle reminder that you’re still part of the system!

Capricorn: “Vol. 1” on One Ass Cheek, “Vol. 2” on the Other

There’s nothing like objectifying your own body to protest the objectification of the labor force. You’re full of contradictions!

Cancer: Factory Worker Punching a Machine, Crying Out in Pain

We feel you Cancers, we feel you.

Scorpio: “Ask Me About the Bourgeoisie” on Forehead 

Look at you! Ready to put yourself out there and hear from the other side. Don’t hog all the quality discourse for yourself!

Pisces: Small Cursive “Karl” Behind Your Ear

You’re so subtle, and you’re not looking for attention. But maybe one day as you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, someone will notice that you’re definitely a Marxist and strike up a conversation! Wouldn’t that be nice?