Trump Pledges Political Foes Will Only Be “Lightly Tortured” in Second Term
MILWAUKEE – Former President Donald Trump has promised that his political opponents will only be “lightly tortured” should voters return him to the White House this week.
In an interview with the Dealer following a rally in Milwaukee, the Republican nominee for president said that his administration would not be as vengeful or bloodthirsty as some critics have alleged.
“You have people saying all kinds of things, people, the media–they say, ‘Ohhh he’s going to be a dictator, he’s going to use the military against his enemies,’ all these horrible things they’re saying–totally fake,” Mr. Trump said with his signature hand-waggle. “No. It’s going to be–not so bad really, not so bad. It’s going to be–you take some people, all right? Lightly tortured. I say lightly tortured, because it is, it’s very slight torture.”
Mr. Trump rejected the proposition that any degree of torturing one’s electoral opponents was unacceptable, as many Democrats have recently argued. “People on the left, they say, ‘No, you can’t do that! You can’t torture anyone, oh no, you can’t do that!’ I mean, can you believe this?”
“So we’re going to torture people a little, really it’s not so bad, waterboarding or cigarettes or with the electrodes, things of that nature, you have–who do you have–Sleepy Joe, remember him? Lightly tortured. Crazy [Vice President] Kamabla [Harris], Laughin’ Kamala–Kamalama Ding Dong, I call her, do you like that? That’s what I call her–lightly tortured. [Congressman] Adam Schiff [of California], Shifty Schiff, Schiffin’ through the graveyard, lightly tortured, also. And Taylor Swift, very lightly tortured.”
Mr. Trump blamed the mainstream media for exaggerating the degree to which his second administration would seek to persecute his enemies, saying that more extreme torture methods such as the medieval brodequin or crucifixion would only be used in very rare cases.
“Really, it’s you people, you in the press, and I mean you, too, the Shady Trader, is that right? Always saying these–really these horrible things about me, it’s disgusting, frankly. This is a beautiful thing that we’re doing, and you look on television and see all these vicious, vicious lies. And we’re still winning. We’re still winning with all these big numbers. So big you can’t even see them, some of them, the numbers. Can you believe that? It’s incredible. You never heard of bigger numbers. Seventy-teen percent, they’re saying, seventy-teen percent I’m going to get. It’s true, look at the polls. The polls won’t show it, but mine do. It’s incredible.
“But yeah, there’s going to be a lot of blood if I win,” Mr. Trump continued, “A lot of blood. And also if I lose. It’s going to be–a lot like the apocalypse, in a lot of ways, if I lose. Not so good. But we’re winning. We’re winning a lot.”
Election Day is November 5.
Griffin is the deputy managing editor for this paper, and was born early in the morning.
