University of Chicago Announces Todd Awareness Day

By Noah Lemelson

April 20, 2014

Caving to popular demand,, The University of Chicago announced yesterday that it will host a Todd Awareness Day on June 13th. Many suspect the University’s decision may have been influenced by the recent controversy following a campus fraternity’s “Todds and Hoes” themed party, but Todvocacy groups have been pushing for similar changes since Northwestern University declared its own Todd Awareness Day back in January.

During Todd Awareness Day, the University will host several events and seminars, including “Safety Around Todd,” “Integrating Todd into Your Local Community,” and “Hold Your Nose: Todd’s Hygiene and You.” “The truth is that there is a lot of latent Toddism on this campus,” said Todd activist Emily Garnell. “We’re hoping that this Awareness Day will help dispel some Todd-related myths. For example it is commonly thought that Todd breathes exclusively through his mouth, while in truth he uses his nose and mouth on a roughly equal basis.”

The rapid spread of Todd Awareness can be traced back to the groundbreaking 2012 Supreme Court caseTodd v. Everyone, in which the Courtdetermined, 5-4, that it was unconstitutional to discriminate based purely on being Todd. Since then, the movement has spread across the country, with many universities starting their own Todd Alliance clubs. “ I think the movement will really hit when people realize that their own friend, lover, or father is Todd,” said Garnell.“Admittedly, that won’t happen until Todd makes some real friends, which is unlikely, since he smells like a dead cat and sues people at the drop of a hat.”