Classified: Artist Seeks Torture

Aspiring artist with privileged upbringing seeks malevolent acts to inspire creative works. Applicants can expect to

 Humiliate me in public

 Point out and mercilessly exploit my deepest insecurities

 Haunt dreams

 Produce better works of art in a similar style to mine, thereby upstaging me

 Fall in love, then disappear just when things seem to be on the up and up