More Sightings of Area’s Wittiest Man

By Dan Lastres

Dec. 31, 2014

As 2014 drew to a close, the Dealer received numerous reports of encounters with an exceedingly sharp-witted man in the area. claiming he would “see [us] next year!”

Sources called in by the dozens to report uses of this witticism, which left them simultaneously dumbfounded and raucously guffawing at its comic genius.

Despite the rapid spread of this witticism across the country, readers need not panic. His farewell is a crafty manipulation of the English Language, but cannot cause harm to the listener. If you happen to come upon him, simply take a deep breath and remember that he simply taking advantage the double meaning of “year” as both a measure of a pretty long time, and the period beginning on the first of January.

Accounts differ on the man’s age, appearance, height, race and gender, but the Dealer is confident that he is the love child of Voltaire and Swift we’ve been waiting for since the late Enlightenment.

John H. Coatsworth, provost of Columbia University and an administer of the Pulitzer Prize, has offered a $1000 reward for anyone that helps locate this titan of language for his outstandingly brilliant and original contribution to the English language.

At press time the Dealer cannot confirm rumors of any connection to another crafty linguist who tends to appear on the first of January, giving hungover people the best of medicines– laughter– when he reminds the he “hasn’t seen them since last year.”