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Aug. 9, 2015
The university prides itself on its unique housing system. With thirty-eight houses and eleven dormitories, the places where students live vary in appearance, cleanliness, and distance from campus. But each house tends to have a theme, such as Legos, Pixar movies, board games, etc. This helps the orientation team decorate the halls and create house culture. This year, every house went above and beyond with their decoration themes, and these are The Shady Dealer’s ten favorites:
710. Dental Health (Rickert House)
After it was discovered that a whopping 84% of Rickert residents last year had cavities, the RHs knew they had to take action with an overwhelming dental health campaign by way of house theme. Now instead of stealing and hiding their roommates’ retainers, students are encouraged to brush their teeth twice daily. The lounge is covered in ornamental floss.
9. Stony Mainland (Stony Island House)This apartment-style one-house dorm knows how to laugh at itself. While everyone knows that Stony is an actual island and is only accessible by a small ferry, this year the house decided to pretend to be an understated peninsula, attached to mainland Chicago. For decorations, they got rid of their iconic volcano and instituted a “Nno Sshirt, Nno Sshoes, Nno Eentry” policy.
68. Twwo-Star Hotel (Snell House)
While this house theme isn’t too original (both Alper and Maclean have also used this one in the past five years), Snell makes it on the list because of its extreme specificity and attention to detail. Snell began offering soaps and shaving kits at the front desk and installed shelves for linens and reading lights next to beds. These minor additions helped them get an official two-star accreditation from the European Hotelstars Union AND a two-star review on Yelp.
57. Talbot House (Palmer House)
Broadview’s far-away Palmer House is located very close to the #6 bus. This year they took that trait to the extreme when they chose to emulate something else close to the #6 bus: Talbot House. Palmer really went all out, putting nametags of Talbot residents on all the doors instead of on their own inhabitants’.
46. Palmer House (Talbot House)
Talbot House, also located in Broadview, had a bit of a last-minute decorating crisis when they noticed all their nametags were missing. The responsible Oo-A-aides, who had planned to decorate using an under-the-sea theme, had to resort to their emergency backup Pplan Bb theme: decorating the lounge to resemble Palmer House.
35. International Women’s Day (Phoenix House)
Bold move, Phoenix. Most houses have steered clear of politically motivated décor themes ever since Breckenridge’s 2006 “The Moon Landing Was Faked” theme. But in the spirit of International House, Phoenix decided International Women’s Day was the way to go, and decorated every room, the bathrooms, the hallways, and the lounge with “March 8th” pages from various page-a-day calendars.
4. Fire Safety (DelGiorno House)This ambitious theme required a bit of team effort. DelGiorno did away with all paper decorations (hazardous) and and removed most of the carpeting (flammable) as well as all occupants (also flammable)., and iInstead, DelGiorno installed three dozen additional smoke alarms and fire extinguishers on each floor. Rather than spending most of their decorating budget on the lounge, they hired a construction team to remove the house kitchen entirely.
23. Lockdown End-Times Bunker (Hoover House)
This one isn’t a theme as much as a reckless knee-jerk reaction. Someone told the Hoover O-Aides the world was ending and they took it to heart. Every window has been covered in radiation-blocking concrete and each suite is half-filled with canned non-perishables. As of late September, no one has been able to contact any residents.
12. Nudist Colony (Linn-Mathews House)
This large house nestled in Burton-Judson Courts had dreams of saving the environment. So first they got rid of heaters and air conditioning units, then got rid of electricity altogether, and as soon as the new students arrived the O-Team asked them to kindly strip and sell their clothes to raise money for solar paneling. Good luck in the winter, Linn-Mathews!
1. Arley D. Cathey Dining Commons (Crown House)Every house in Renée Granville-Grossman Residential Commons likes to claim, “Wwe’re steps away from the dining hall.,” However,but Crown House raised the bar by saying, “Wwe ARE the dining hall.” They decorated each floor with a unique theme like “Eeuro,” “Hhalal,” “Hharvest,” or “Ggluten Free,” and they installed salad bars in every communal bathroom.
