Into Bad Boys? Then Check out Todd: The Guy Who Throws Paper Towels All over the Fucking Ground in Harper

By Diego Mansplane

Nov. 2, 2018

Tired of always making your friends and family proud? Does your love life need a little danger? Then allow us to introduce you to Todd: the guy who throws wet paper towels all over the fucking ground in the Harper bathrooms. 

You’re probably familiar with some of Todd’s work if you’ve ever walked into the Harper bathrooms and asked yourself, “What kind of asshole would do something like this?” Todd would. Todd is that kind of asshole, and he’s exactly what you need right now.

Forget leather jackets, chain smoking, and those Velcro shoes that light up when you walk– Todd is a real bad boy. There’s nothing more rebellious than using 10 paper towels when you just needed one, and there’s nothing more mouth-wateringly dangerous than throwing all those paper towels all over the ground without even drying your hands. Wow.  

But dating bad boys like Todd isn’t always so easy. For one, your boring friends would never understand. They’ll start finding wet paper towels all over your own bathroom and tell you they’re “concerned” about you, that it’s becoming a “problem” and that you’re a “bad person”–but they have no idea. They could never understand the thrill–the sheer ecstasy– of throwing paper towels all over the fucking ground; because if it wasn’t for the thrill, why else would anyone do it?