By Ella Hester May 25, 2018 Hey Ed Zamb You’re the manb You have a son named Teddy And a heart that’s ready To ‘like’ our pieces Your support never ceases Never leave…

By Ryan Fleishman May 5, 2018  A Cure for Scurvy In an unprecedented stroke of maritime genius, local pirate captain Bart Seaman staved off scurvy for his entire pirate crew by inventing a new…

By Jughead Greg April 20, 2018 A Swift Rapture University coffee shop Grounds of Being rose into the sky this past Sunday, in what observers have called the greatest modern miracle since The Wire. …

By Nik Varley Feb. 20, 2018 At approximately 11:30 p.m., The Shady Dealer received a tip claiming that there is an enormous pile of visibly-stained David Lynch posters outside the Doc Films office…

By Ella Hester Jan. 29, 2018 Ready to show off your everlasting love for your SOSC buddy, Marx? Here’s your guide to picking the commie tattoo that best represents you! Aries: Adam Smith’s…

By Dan Lastres & Milena Pross Oct. 17, 2017 Dear Dan, How are you? My first few weeks of class have been good but stressful. At first I took four classes, but now…

By Editorial Board of The Chicago Shady Dealer Oct. 12, 2017 The Chicago Shady Dealer is honored to have been awarded the illustrious Nobel Prize in Truth-Telling. In these dark times when truth…

By Katie Zellner and Morgan Pantuck March 16, 2017 It’s an easy relationship trap to fall into: You’re busy, he’s busy. You basically only see each other at the Reg. Studying together is…

By Ryan Fleishman May 12, 2017 How To Stay Calm When Your Bowling Date Misses An Easy 7-10 SplitWe’ve all been there:. yYou‘ are on a bowling date with a seemingly nice girl…

  By Breck Radulovic April 20, 2017 Bumper Sticker Space on Subaru Forester at a Premium Hyde Park resident Patty Nielson, aged 55, announced on Facebook that she is running out of room…