By Chase Harrison May 16, 2016 8 months. 40 books. 9 drafts. 30 meetings with my advisersor. 9 all– nighters. 90 pages. And all I get are 143 likes on Facebook. Are you…

By Katie Zellner May 13, 2016 Jen Karamchandny and Joe Gaddis have announced that they are discontinuing their relationship after a successful three season run. Mutual friend and self-described producer of the relationship,…

By Nik Varley April 23, 2016 SourcesStudents in Professor Pierce Jackson’s SOSC 113 class informed confirmed that fellow studenttThe Dealer that student Graham Larson began bouncing his right leg up and down at…

By Morgan Pantuck March 13, 2016 Just moments ago, first-year student and budding political activist Marissa Newbolt encouraged her Facebook friends, 99% of whom support the Democratic Party, to vote in the upcoming…

By Abigail Fitsworth Feb. 18, 2016 Dear Sir or Madam: Upon moving into residential housing as a first year, I was delighted to learn about the existence of “Wellczars,” such as yourself, whose…

By Nik Varley, 1787 Jan. 22, 2016 Sources at the Constitutional Convention told Sources at the Constitutional Convention told the Shady Dealer this morning that the American Constitution will not include Ben Franklin’s…

By Anna Newport Jan. 18, 2016 Charleston, S.C. –—- Tragedy was narrowly averted at the Democratic debate Sunday night when Bernie Sanders, the 74-year-old Senator from Vermont, leaned too far left in his…

By Chase Harrison Dec. 31, 2015 While other UChicago students will be traveling to Paris, Beijing, and Oaxaca in the winter quarter, third-year Junior Kelsey Shippman will be immersing herself in perhaps the…

By Grace Quigley Nov. 15, 2015 In a surprisingcurious turn of events, the turkey pardoned by President Obama before Thanksgiving of 2009 has passed its sixth year at the detention camp in Guantanamo…

By Chase Harrison Nov. 9, 2015 1. Bobby Jindal Jindal’s intense fiscal conservatism has not sparked Republican voters interest. Despite strong statements on immigration, Jindal remains a non-factor in the race. 2. “Papa”…