By Nora Helfand Oct. 18, 2013 It’s a familiar Saturday scene: a gaggle of well-dressed college-age women out for an evening of downtown dining. Kicking back into my crimson booth seat and letting…

By Daniel Moattar Aug. 2, 2013 Point: I have been forced to carry the spirit of Pierce on my shoulders. By Oliver Wateringcan II With the construction of the University of Chicago’s new…

By Anna Newport May 27, 2013 Arley D. Cathey Dining Commons was officially closed Friday after a dead chicken was found in a lettuce and tomato sandwich. Although the fragment of fetid fowl…

By Jeremy Archer April 25, 2013 Citing “new perspectives” in education and a desire to overtake Yale in national college rankings, the University Press Office announced today a new initiative entitled “Discard Undergraduates…

By Daniel Moattar Feb. 24, 2013 In a world where many feel technology has run amok, where the Yankee dollar has taken top billing in our collective heart, and where patience and charity…

By Nigel Pennington Feb. 4, 2013 Anno Domini 1161—Today, I’d like to talk about today’s hot animal-related topic: dragons. Everyone’s heard of them, nobody’s seen them, but everybody’s afraid of them. Well, there…

By Daniel Moattar Jan. 3, 2013 As the year-end deadline approaches, public ire and political acrimony over the United States’ “Fiscal Cliff” have approached a breaking point. “Leave me alone, you assholes,” said…

By Matthew Goldenberg Nov. 10, 2012 In an unprecedented display of social interaction, a front desk employee at Ratner Athletics Center greeted a patron coming in to exercise by saying “hello” cheerfully. The…

By Hannah Gitlin Oct. 21, 2012 Residents of the University of Chicago’s International House were caught off guard last week when a Christopher Malone stumbled up to the door of the stately building…

By Emily Feigenbaum Dec. 26, 2018 image via stuckattheairport.com After a long night of delivering Christmas presents to the bright-eyed children of the world, Santa Claus is heading back home to Hyde Park…