By Chase Harrison Nov. 9, 2015 1. Bobby Jindal Jindal’s intense fiscal conservatism has not sparked Republican voters interest. Despite strong statements on immigration, Jindal remains a non-factor in the race. 2. “Papa”…

By Jacob Levin- Sports Editor Oct. 20, 2015 I know what you’re thinking. This is the University of Chicago, a school better known for its rigorous academics, storied traditions, and wild frat parties…

By Zoe Kaiser Oct. 8, 2015 A donor, who has elected to remain anonymous, has offered the University of Chicago 500 million dollars to rename one of the houses being moved to North…

By Teddy Zamborsky Aug. 1, 2015 Being the incredibly sexy people we are, Dealer writers are uniquely equipped to guide you through the perilous journey of your first college romance. So here is…

By Dan Lastres May 26, 2015 Tuesday- LocalCHICAGO—Area pre-teenager Alex Sanderson had been anticipating his first unconscious orgasm since he first heard his older brother, Jacobke Sanderson, soil the sheets of thehis bottom…

By Mary Vansuch April 25, 2015 Every Friday night is ladies’ night, and last night I happened to give my bestie a call before we went out. I told her I was having…

By Alex Dunlap March 1, 2015 The Chicago Police Department announced this week a groundbreaking initiative that aims to “rethink the way that citizens interact with their police force,” according to a statement…

By Chris Deakin Feb. 1, 2015 In what comes as surprising news for record executives and music critics alike, the young people of Sweden have not responded to the Swedish Beatles with the…

By Evan Bernstein Jan. 2, 2015 What?? Why?? I don’t understand!! We were all just standing around having a good time and then- what?? Everyone started kissing! Each other! With their mouths! They’re…

By Si Squires-Kasten Nov. 26, 2014 During a ride Thursday morning to Logan International Airport, Uber driver Travis Murphy moved without warning from lighthearted racial observations into what several sources confirms was “flat…