By Ryan Fleishman Nov. 20, 2015 In an unexpected turn of events, the Major Activities Board has officially announced this Wednesday that Nirvana will not be able to perform at this year’s Summer…

By Chase Harrison Nov. 11, 2015 While SSsecond– y Year Rhonda Wong spent her Friday night on November 13 relaxing in her single in South, watching Aziz Ansari’s new Netflix series Master of…

By Ryan Fleishman Oct. 25, 2015 Last Friday, The Rainbow announced that its sixth color, indigo, has been officially removed from all future and current incarnations of itself due to budget constraints. While…

By Nik Varley Oct. 16, 2015 Viewers of last night’s Ddemocratic debate were surprised to see presidential hopeful Jim Webb eating a large, sloppy meatball sub throughout the event. Several minutes into the…

By Erin Horning Aug. 7, 2015 First-year Mona Everett thought she was set for college when her parents dropped her and all of her brand-new college gear off on the steps of Max…

By Dan Lastres May 26, 2015 Victims’ Families Find Comfort in Protracted Legal Battle Convicted murderer Hollis Rhoper, better known as “The the “Falsetto Killer,” has received a deathcapital sentence on Wednesday for…

By Nico Aldape May 26, 2015 I keep hearing about this “hookup culture” supposedly present on campus and people complaining about being “sexiled,” but I’m honestly not convinced. No one’s been brought home…

By Natalie Friedberg March 1, 2015 Last Tuesday, Marlon C. Lynch, UCPD Chief and Associate Vice President for Safety, Security and Civic Affairs, submitted a request for a $1,000,000 budget increase in order…

By [email protected] March 1, 2015 Stop reading this article right now if u read it to the end you will be CURSED. Morgan was a newspaper editor who killed herself Twenty years ago…

By Brogun the Younger Feb. 1, 2015 SUMERIA 5000 B.C.E. The men who wrote our constitution were wise and foresaw many ways that the government could seek to deprive our fellow citizens of…