-
Iowa Caucus Thrusts Itself into Tight Campaign
By Zachary Spitz Feb. 2, 2016 On Monday, after months of vigorous campaigning across the state of Iowa, Sen. Ted Cruz of Texas wascame out on the receiving end of a massive caucus.…
-
All the Star Wars Movies, Ranked
By Daniel Ruttenberg, 2046 Jan. 22, 2016 Star Wars Episode XVIII: The Roast of Chewbacca Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope Star Wars Episode…
-
An Open Letter to the Other Guy in this Revolving Door
By Walker King Jan. 3, 2016 Hey buddy, how are you doing? In a revolving door, I see. And not just any revolving door. This revolving door, with me. Welcome. You’ve probably already…
-
Nirvana Preemptively Eliminated from Summer Breeze Lineup
By Ryan Fleishman Nov. 20, 2015 In an unexpected turn of events, the Major Activities Board has officially announced this Wednesday that Nirvana will not be able to perform at this year’s Summer…
-
Despite Facebook RSVP, Student Doesn’t Attend Frat Party
By Chase Harrison Nov. 11, 2015 While SSsecond– y Year Rhonda Wong spent her Friday night on November 13 relaxing in her single in South, watching Aziz Ansari’s new Netflix series Master of…
-
Financially Struggling Rainbow to Cut Indigo
By Ryan Fleishman Oct. 25, 2015 Last Friday, The Rainbow announced that its sixth color, indigo, has been officially removed from all future and current incarnations of itself due to budget constraints. While…
-
Jim Webb Eats Large, Sloppy Sandwich
By Nik Varley Oct. 16, 2015 Viewers of last night’s Ddemocratic debate were surprised to see presidential hopeful Jim Webb eating a large, sloppy meatball sub throughout the event. Several minutes into the…
-
First Year Frantically Struggles to Acquire Phone Numbers
By Erin Horning Aug. 7, 2015 First-year Mona Everett thought she was set for college when her parents dropped her and all of her brand-new college gear off on the steps of Max…
-
Victims’ Families Find Comfort in Protracted Legal Battle
By Dan Lastres May 26, 2015 Victims’ Families Find Comfort in Protracted Legal Battle Convicted murderer Hollis Rhoper, better known as “The the “Falsetto Killer,” has received a deathcapital sentence on Wednesday for…
-
Hookup Culture Doesn’t Exist
By Nico Aldape May 26, 2015 I keep hearing about this “hookup culture” supposedly present on campus and people complaining about being “sexiled,” but I’m honestly not convinced. No one’s been brought home…