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Masthead

Editors in Chief

Griffin Bonnin Jones, Andrea Zhou

Managing Editor

Katherine Reynolds

Deputy Managing Editor

Vivian Psylos

Layout Editor

Justin Bilenker

Photo Editor

Zayna Cheema

Copy Editors

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Is He Flirting With You or Just Promoting an IOP Event?

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Emily Feigenbaum Dec. 5, 2018 Dating at UChicago can be difficult. Sometimes it’s not so clear whether that special person is demonstrating an interest in you or if he’s drumming up attention…

    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    “So Do I Just Put It In?” First-Years Unsure How to Vote

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

      It’s election season in the United States and millions of Americans are expected to hit the polls on November 6th. For many 18-year-old citizens, this will be the first election they can…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Dean Boyer Reads Plato’s Republic, Announces Plan to Exile All Creative Writing Majors

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Sam Stephenson Oct. 26, 2018 Dean Boyer, having recently read Plato’s Republic, announced that all Creative Writing majors would be exiled from University premises effective immediately. In an official statement justifying the…

    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Four Freakish Stress-Induced Bodily Phenomena You Will Experience at This School

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Ella Hester Sept. 24, 2018   Chronic “Gym Bro” Syndrome Some experts say that exercise is an incredibly efficient stress reliever. But they weren’t conducting their studies here in The Upside Down!…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    SOSC Canvas Posts Too Intimate

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Warner Swatkins May 25, 2018 The trouble began when a number of students in Professor Bart Conroy’s third quarter of “Self, Culture, Society” expressed concerns that the readings concerning Dr. Sigmund Freud…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Tincture of the Mind

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Old Dr. Zimzam May 5, 2018  Sponsored

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Condom Ad

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Chicago Shady Dealer Merchandise Ltd April 20, 2018 *Not Actual Size Never forget about your University’s unique and steadfast commitment to academic and political freedoms with the Chicago Shady Dealer’s new “Free…

    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    University Drug Ring Bust Yields Over 30 Pounds Of Raw Prozac

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Ryan Fleishman Feb. 20, 2018 Prozac In a sting operation planned over the course of seven months, the University of Chicago Police Department (UCPD) finally took down a massive University drug ring…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    5 Baffling Contraptions Your Roommate is Using to Hog the Outlets

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Thomas Noriega Jan. 30, 2018 1. The Glow-Box During the day, it’s just another box plugged into your shared surge protector, but at night, it radiates an eerie blue glow directly into…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Please Remember To Get Your Feels Vaccine

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Student Health Services Oct. 17, 2017 Don’t catch feels this quarter! Autumn has officially arrived, which means it’s time for everyone to get their annual feels vaccine. The CDC estimates that on…

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