By Nik Varley Nov. 15, 2016 Recent research conducted by scientists at the University of Chicago has confirmed that you would look really cool cruising around on a longboard. The researchers, whose work…

By The Chicago Shady Dealer Gaming Committee Nov. 12, 2016 PokemonPokémon Sun and Moon came out on November 18th, and we are head over heels in love with the new guys. Let’s have…

By Morgan Pantuck Oct. 17, 2016 According to insider reports, area undergraduate student Molly Green unintentionally ruined the vibe of an UChicago campus tour given by Ben Smith earlier this week by crying…

By Adam Lowinger Oct. 11, 2016 Does the following apply to you? You’ve just had a tragic breakup with the person you thought would be the one, and now you’re stuck with your…

By Rusty Pecker Aug. 6, 2016 God, I love college so far. The independence, the intellectual rigor, the dollar milkshakes. Shit man, it’s the best. Honestly, my favorite part of it is the…

By Morgan Pantuck Oct. 21, 2015 According to eyewitness reports, area undergraduate Wendy Robinson’s new hygienic rituals have officially ended after only three days of implementation. Robinson, 20, promised herself that she would…

By Chase Harrison May 13, 2016 Citing “irreconcilable differences,” Pro-Israel and Pro-Palestinian groups on campus have agreed to split the campus territory between each other. In a rare joint statement, leaders of the…

By Nik Varley April 26, 2016 In an event that can only be described as a tragedy, area student Sarah McDowell finished her drink while she was only halfway through her meal. The…

By Nico Aldape April 20, 2016 IInspired by the proposedhow the federal government may move of marijuana from a Schedule I to Schedule II controlled substance, which would allow for further recreational use…

By Morgan Pantuck Feb. 18, 2016 Step 1: Be Confident. Using a group room for individual study is an exercise in confidence. Maybe you belong there, maybe you don’t. Fake it till you…