By Nico Aldape Nov. 11, 2015 Socrates: Let us move to the concepts of memes, the nature of which, as Apollo wishes, is of optimal dankness. Memes are the form and dankness the…

By Milena Pross Oct. 27, 2015 As many campus beefs go nowadays, it all started with a tweet. Last week, John “Jay” Ellison, the Ddean of Sstudents in the College, using the Twitter…

By Juan Caicedo Oct. 16, 2015 Perhaps you first heard about fuckboys from a parent, coach, or pastor. You may have seen one passing by in the hallway, one hand secure on a…

By Marlon C. Lynch, Associate VP for Safety and Security Aug. 9, 2015 The University of ChicagoSeptember 20, 2015Security Alert At approximately 9:50 p.m., Thursday June 19th, 2014 — A victim not affiliated…

By Anna Belle Newport July 17, 2015 The University of Chicago Office of Admissions, after releasing statistics on the incoming class of 2019 on Tuesday, claims to have the most globally experienced cohort…

By Morgan Pantuck May 26, 2015 According to insider reports, 35-year old Gregory Sheppard, who recently dined at an Olive Garden restaurant with his girlfriend, experienced intense feelings of regret and loss when…

By Evan Bernstein April 23, 2015 20 Ways to Please Your Man These twenty tips are sure to spice things up in the bedroom, shower, or empty train car! 1. Touch it Touching…

By Dan Lastres March 1, 2015 I met my contact in the dark alcove between Harper and Stuart. Vance was a well-dressed guy with an over-waxed mustache. I tried to shake his hand,…

By Teddy Zamborsky Feb. 1, 2015 Point: Race No Longer Divides Us I, Paul Steinburg, am able to proclaim, in the year 2424, that race no longer divides us. I am happy to…

By Alex Foster Dec. 30, 2014 When Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs was released in 2009, it opened our eyes to a future of meteorology and food science that no one had…