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Corrupted Article- Do not publish.
By Error Nov. 11, 2015 TTFun fact – this phenomenon is also known as Poseidon’s Kiss! Remember that this happened to gods too. Archeological studies have have havfound that most of the output…
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Admissions Office Releases Class of 2019 Dick Statistics
By John Wilson Oct. 23, 2015 In an unexpected turn, the University of Chicago Admissions Office has released the penis size statistics for the class of 2019. The information was released on the…
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First Year Hides Girlfriend from Parents
By David North Oct. 16, 2015 First-year Jack Bailey of Coulter House was seen trying to hide his girlfriend, first-year Amy Xuhao, from his parents when they visited last weekend. Bailey carefully avoided…
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Suggested Accessories for Sleeping in the Lounge
By Ryan Fleishman Aug. 6, 2015 Mechanical cCrossbow for hunting food and protecting your spot– Lotion, as. eElbows tend to get chaffed overnight in the lounge.– Speakers so everyone on the 1st, 2nd,…
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What Are We Splurging on This Week?
By Sam Taylor May 26, 2015 1) Inklings, Histories, and Mysteries 2) Hanging out with the gang 3)Carp 4)Sweatshirts with the words “Let’s Hear it for the Boys!” 5) Cheetos Brand Cheetos 6)Stuff…
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Why, I Think I’ll Vote for Bernie Sanders
By Daniel Moattar May 26, 2015 Why, I Think I’ll Vote for Bernie SandersBy Jamie Dimon, CEO, JPMorgan Chase I was speaking on the phone the other day with my good friend Hillary…
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Amazon Announces Plans to Ship Consumers Directly to Product
By Chris Deakin March 1, 2015 In a press conference this morning, Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos announced that the online retailer will begin delivery of clients to their desired product as early as…
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March!
By Evan Bernstein March 1, 2015 Oh boy oh boy oh boy! Sources close to bursting from excitement report that it’s March! The sources, who wished to remain forever young and free, went…
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Sexiest Man Alive Also Only Man Alive
By Si Squires-Kasten Feb. 1, 2015 NEW YORK November 19, 2159 On Tuesday, Person (née People) Magazine awarded Juwan Murphy, the sole survivor of the nuclear holocaust of 2158, the title of “Sexiest…
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5 Reasons It Sucks to be a Girl
By Morgan Pantuck Dec. 30, 2014 Ladies, we have it rough. Between periods, emotional breakdowns, and dealing with dumb boys 24/7, there are hundreds of reasons that being a girl is no walk…