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Natural Explorations with Nigel Pennington: Dragons
By Nigel Pennington Feb. 4, 2013 Anno Domini 1161—Today, I’d like to talk about today’s hot animal-related topic: dragons. Everyone’s heard of them, nobody’s seen them, but everybody’s afraid of them. Well, there…
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“Fiscal” Cliff Threatens to Drive Economy into Recession
By Daniel Moattar Jan. 3, 2013 As the year-end deadline approaches, public ire and political acrimony over the United States’ “Fiscal Cliff” have approached a breaking point. “Leave me alone, you assholes,” said…
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Ratner Employee Greets Patron
By Matthew Goldenberg Nov. 10, 2012 In an unprecedented display of social interaction, a front desk employee at Ratner Athletics Center greeted a patron coming in to exercise by saying hello cheerfully. The…
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Local resident wanders into I-House drunk at 2 am demanding waffles
By Hannah Gitlin Oct. 21, 2012 Residents of the University of Chicagos International House were caught off guard last week when a Christopher Malone stumbled up to the door of the stately building…
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Santa Looking to Split Uber from Midway
By Emily Feigenbaum Dec. 26, 2018 image via stuckattheairport.com After a long night of delivering Christmas presents to the bright-eyed children of the world, Santa Claus is heading back home to Hyde Park…
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DC & NYC to Restrict Immigration of Public Policy Majors
By Nico Aldape Dec. 5, 2018 “Y’all young, broke twenty-somethings are coming into our town and stealing the jobs from all us older broke twenty-somethings,” said District of Columbia resident Sydney Pulisic. “Fuck all of you.” Pulisic…
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Security Alert and Other Musings
By Antonia Salisbury Nov. 2, 2018 Associate Vice President for Safety & Security, Eric M. Heath, and his lesser known, but equally influential twin brother, Erin N. Heath, are opponents within the world…
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Dairy Section at HPP in Strange Transition Between Pumpkin Spice Eggnog and Regular Eggnog
By Nico Aldape Oct. 26, 2018 Much like the weather alternating between highs of 70s and 40s each day, or my sleep schedule, the dairy section at seminal food market Hyde Park Produce…
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Dear Dealer: How Do I Handle my Podcast-Crazy Roomie?
By Dirk Lazenby Sept. 24, 2018 Dear Shady Dealer, During some routine Facebook stalking I discovered that my soon-to-be-roommate is a podcast fanatic. I don’t want to be rude or close-minded, but…
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Spring Has Sprung: Fijis Quit Breastfeeding for Solid Food
By Antonia Salisbury May 25, 2018 Frarty season is upon us, and you know what that means: barbecued mashed peas and a banana yogurt ice luge. The Dealer began its reporting at the Fiji…
