By Daniel Moattar Aug. 2, 2013 Point: I have been forced to carry the spirit of Pierce on my shoulders. By Oliver Wateringcan II With the construction of the University of Chicago’s new…

By Anna Newport May 27, 2013 Arley D. Cathey Dining Commons was officially closed Friday after a dead chicken was found in a lettuce and tomato sandwich. Although the fragment of fetid fowl…

By Jeremy Archer April 25, 2013 Citing “new perspectives” in education and a desire to overtake Yale in national college rankings, the University Press Office announced today a new initiative entitled “Discard Undergraduates…

By Daniel Moattar Feb. 24, 2013 In a world where many feel technology has run amok, where the Yankee dollar has taken top billing in our collective heart, and where patience and charity…

By Alexander the Great Feb. 4, 2013 Author’s Note: Alexander the Great apologizes in advance for the following display of enthusiasm – he is writing on his favorite topic, after all. What is…

By Daniel Moattar Jan. 3, 2013 How are YOU wasting your New Year’s Eve? 21% – Reconciling day’s debauchery with resolutions, image of self as human being 17% — Pretending to have any…

By Nora Helfand Nov. 10, 2012 Hi. I’m not sure if this is where I go to do this, but could you please take me off your listhost? I’ve already taken measures in…

By Hannah Gitlin Oct. 21, 2012 Students at the University of Chicago were surprised when, on October 5th, University alumnus Arley D. Cathey, Ph.B ’50, acquired the naming rights to Eric Greene, a…

By Nico Aldape Dec. 28, 2018 In a ritual as annual as Lollapalooza, other animals’ migrations, or Seasonal Affective Disorder, the University of Chicago’s gargoyles have begun their seasonal trip to hotter locales. Part…

By Emily Feigenbaum Dec. 5, 2018 Dating at UChicago can be difficult. Sometimes it’s not so clear whether that special person is demonstrating an interest in you or if he’s drumming up attention…