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Who Said it? Bachelorette Contestant or a White House Communications Director
By Teddy Zamborsky Aug. 2, 2017 Who Said It: A Bachelorette Contestant or A Former White House Communications Director? 1. “You’re damn right I enjoy pissing him off.” Bachelorette Contestant or Communications Director?…
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A Student’s Guide to Sneaking LSD from Craig
By Mary Vansuch Feb. 22, 2016 Now, I’m not saying that I have ever used LSD, or that I even know Craig. These are just rumors I’ve heard from through the grapevine. Nor…
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Love Child Becomes Love Adult
By Evan Bernstein Nov. 16, 2014 Love Child Becomes Love Adult Sources close to Jeffrey Tanenbaum report that the twenty-five-year old graduate student has completed his transformation from a child of lust to…
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Natural Explorations with Nigel Pennington: The Diffident Tree Shrew
By Sam Spiegel Oct. 21, 2012 The Diffident Tree Shrew, contrary to what its name implies, is neither diffident, nor tree-dwelling, nora shrew. A member of the mountain tortoise family, the diffident tree…
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Five Hot Tips for Students Staying in Housing on a Break
By Thomas Noriega March 7, 2017 5 Hot Tips for Students Staying in Housing on a Break By Thomas Noriega Externship fall through? Parents don’t want you at home? Your elaborate plans to…
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Ghost Haunting White House Rose Garden Revealed to be Ted Cruz
By Breck Radulovic Jan. 5, 2016
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Photoshopped Galaxy Sets Unrealistic Standards for Young Interstellar Matter
By Morgan Pantuck April 20, 2014 A young dust cloud at the grocery store with her mother sees a row of gossip magazines lining the checkout counter. She picks up a cover of…
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Millions of Kids Dress as Migos for Halloween, None of them Takeoff
By Nico Aldape Oct. 31, 2018 Millions across the nation celebrated Halloween by dressing as Migos this Halloween, the second-most popular costume among young black children (behind the King of Wakanda). The…
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Six Best Sexual Positions On The Israeli Palestine Conflict
By Ryan Fleishman Jan. 17, 2017 1. The Double-State Solution This steamy sexual solution towards one of the greatest geopolitical conflicts of our time has two states pumping at once. While getting a…
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The Next Final Frontier After Space is My Parent’s Attic
By Ryan Fleishman Oct. 31, 2015 After nearly 60 years of exploration into the boundless annals of space, the world is ready to move on to the deeper mysteries of life, namely those…