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Five Hot Tips for Students Staying in Housing on a Break
By Thomas Noriega March 7, 2017 5 Hot Tips for Students Staying in Housing on a Break By Thomas Noriega Externship fall through? Parents don’t want you at home? Your elaborate plans to…
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Ghost Haunting White House Rose Garden Revealed to be Ted Cruz
By Breck Radulovic Jan. 5, 2016
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Photoshopped Galaxy Sets Unrealistic Standards for Young Interstellar Matter
By Morgan Pantuck April 20, 2014 A young dust cloud at the grocery store with her mother sees a row of gossip magazines lining the checkout counter. She picks up a cover of…
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Millions of Kids Dress as Migos for Halloween, None of them Takeoff
By Nico Aldape Oct. 31, 2018 Millions across the nation celebrated Halloween by dressing as Migos this Halloween, the second-most popular costume among young black children (behind the King of Wakanda). The…
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Six Best Sexual Positions On The Israeli Palestine Conflict
By Ryan Fleishman Jan. 17, 2017 1. The Double-State Solution This steamy sexual solution towards one of the greatest geopolitical conflicts of our time has two states pumping at once. While getting a…
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The Next Final Frontier After Space is My Parent’s Attic
By Ryan Fleishman Oct. 31, 2015 After nearly 60 years of exploration into the boundless annals of space, the world is ready to move on to the deeper mysteries of life, namely those…
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Area Woman Pays Face Value for Klondike Bar
By Chris Deakin Dec. 24, 2013 At 4:30 p.m. EST, Friday January 10th, local businesswoman Grace Fortier paid $2.99 for a package of six Klondike Bars™, a popular confection made of ice cream…
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Best Seller! Dean Boyer’s Book Just Sold its 100th Copy
By Daniel Lastres – Hyde Park, 2085 May 5, 2018 Roughly 70 years after it was first published, The University of Chicago: A History has sold its 100th copy and is well on…
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Local First-Year Does Awesome Borat Voice
By Reed Thurston Nov. 2, 2016 youLocal First-Year Does Awesome Borat VoiceCHICAGO, IL — In what eyewitnesses are referring to as a “masterful” and “evocative” recollection of pop culture quotation, first-year student Brian…
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Area Man Dies of Zumba
By Morgan Pantuck July 21, 2015 Area man Ted Peterson passed away in a tragic Zumba accident earlier this weekend. Peterson, 31, was lifting weights at his local gym when he passed an…
