By Liam Coles Jan. 29, 2016 Rapper and Social Justice Warrior Ben “Macklemore” Haggerty is currently searching for another marginalized group save after yet again putting an end to an injustice with his…

By Evan Bernstein Oct. 21, 2014 After quite a night of drinking and thinking, smarties at parties had too much Bacardi and fell into a well of crying and sighing, not one son…

By Emily Feigenbaum Dec. 5, 2018 Dating at UChicago can be difficult. Sometimes it’s not so clear whether that special person is demonstrating an interest in you or if he’s drumming up attention…

By 21st Amendment, 1933 Feb. 5, 2017 CP: 21st Ammendment: Nooo, You’re Drunk!! Pshhhh. Me, dDrunk? I’m not drunk! You’re drunk! If I’m sooo drunk, then how come you’re the one spinning in…

By Daniel Ruttenberg Nov. 19, 2015 NASA Astronomer Charles Ledson announced on Thursday that they had discovered water in Breckinridge, a satellite dorm of the University of Chicago. “Today is a truly momentous…

By Matthew Goldenberg Feb. 22, 2014 In a speech Monday, Pope Francis decreed that infanticide is the only form of birth control that the world’s 1.2 billion Catholics are permitted to use. As…

By Deblina Mukherjee Sept. 24, 2018 1. When people ask if you peaked in college, you will be able to unambiguously answer, “No!” Ah, the thrill of posting memes regurgitated from Twitter and…

By Dan Lastres Nov. 15, 2016 The holidays are here, and you already know that at this year’s party, somebody is going to bring that tangy tough nightmare in your mouth we all…

By Alex Hall Oct. 12, 2015 Frat parties can be a very confusing muddle for a first year. From the nonsensical assortments of Greek letters whichthatwhich constitute their names to the sweaty mess…

By Naftali Harris Nov. 9, 2013 Mathematicians around the world were devastated to learn yesterday that all mathematics is actually a special case of political theory. Professor John Mearsheimer, whose groundbreaking 1993 discoveries…