By Nik Varley April 23, 2016 SourcesStudents in Professor Pierce Jackson’s SOSC 113 class informed confirmed that fellow studenttThe Dealer that student Graham Larson began bouncing his right leg up and down at…

By Ariana Huffington Nov. 26, 2014 As the founder and editor-in-chief of a well-respected news outlet, I’ve always believed in the power of journalists to stand as watchmen for democracy. A healthy fourth…

By Stephen Lurie Nov. 11, 2012 Area man Jack Yarborough discovered this week an unexpected and unintended benefit to his Chinese take-out habit: learning Chinese. By his estimates, the 340-pound Mr. Yarborough must…

By Morgan Pantuck April 17, 2017 Best Friend Fails to Justify Crush’s Tinder BehaviorBy Morgan Pantuck Reports indicate that local BFF Miranda Weinberg is rapidly running out of convincing reasons why your crush,…

By Renee Winget, 2008 Jan. 22, 2016 AAt the crown of his head, presidential candidate Barack Obama’s singular grey hair announced a plan to eradicate pigment in visible hair by the year 2016…

By Morgan Pantuck Aug. 1, 2014 LDR Break-Up Mad Libs By Morgan Pantuck Dear Sam, We need to [verb]. I know that we wanted to give long-distance a/an [adjective] shot, and that I…

By Audrey Fromson Dec. 5, 2018 Maybe you were late to cuffing season. Or maybe you’ve been banned from participating in your friend group’s Secret Santa after spending $0.07 over the limit for Janet last…

By Ryan Fleishman, 1840 Feb. 1, 2017 1840- My fellow citizens: I am proud to announce we are living in a post-racial America. That’s right;. aAfter decades on centuries of discrimination, we can…

By Nik Varley Nov. 13, 2015 Jeb Bush recently said that he would give any democrat who cut spending by ten dollars a warm kiss. You’d better pucker up, Jeb, because I’m going…

By Alexander Dunlap (1971) Jan. 25, 2014 After weeks of bilateral negotiations regarding quitting rights, rates of metabolism, and access to key neurotransmitters, Sarah Rodriguez, United States Ambassador to Drugs, announced last night…