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Fan Mail
By None Feb. 20, 2018 From: [email protected]Subject: Maxwell The personal adviser of my deceased client is a national of your country .I am contacting youto assist retrieve his huge deposit of US$10.5Million left…
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Dean Ellison Awakens from Week-Long Bender with No Memory of Welcome Letter
By James Reece Aug. 26, 2016 Dean Ellison Awakes from Week Long Bender with No Memory of Welcome LetterThursday, August 25th, 5:16 PMUniversity of Chicago Ddean of StudentAadmissions in the College John ““Jay”…
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UCPD Seeks Budget Approval For Meddling Kids and Dumb Dog
By Natalie Friedberg March 1, 2015 Last Tuesday, Marlon C. Lynch, UCPD Chief and Associate Vice President for Safety, Security and Civic Affairs, submitted a request for a $1,000,000 budget increase in order…
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The Chicago Shady Dealer endorses Slate Slate
By Editorial Board April 23, 2013 The University of Chicago has a rocky road ahead. Recently, our school has been rocked by a number of scandals, and we can’t afford to remain sedimentary…
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Researchers Discover Dog Dreams Exactly The Same As Dog Reality
By Greer Baxter Aug. 18, 2017 In partnership with the University of Nome, scientists from UofChicago have recently concluded a series of canine sleep experiments, the results of which confirmed what many had…
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Let’s Network Together
By Diane Zimmerman April 22, 2016 I am an ambitious young professional, and I think I could learn a lot from networking with you. I want to show you that I am an…
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“You Like This” Says Salad Eater to Self
By Becky Stoner Nov. 18, 2014 A quiet murmur was heard this Tuesday around 12:17 pm in Bartlett Dining Hall. “You like this,” said second-year May House resident and reluctant salad eater Zoe…
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Cyclists on Quad: “We just can’t get off our bikes”
By Chris Deakin Nov. 7, 2012 A survey of Hyde Park bicycle riders released Friday has found that the majority are unable to get off of their bikes once they have entered the…
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Markets in Disarray as Snapchat Shares Disappear After Ten Seconds
By Christopher Walker March 26, 2017 NEW YORK –This Friday, iInvestors were sent into a panic panicked on Friday when it was discovered that all purchased shares of Snap, Inc (SNAP) disappear from…
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Greek Students Claim Rome Appropriating Culture
By Liam Coles, 146 BCE Jan. 22, 2016 ATHENS, 146 BCE– Just this week students at the Lyceum in Athens began protesting Rome’s appropriation of Greek culture. Over CC students put down their…