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Dean Boyer to challenge the Gods
By Mark Boykin Feb. 24, 2013 John W. Boyer, Dean of the College at The University of Chicago, has challenged every major and minor deity who exerts influence over natural phenomena to a…
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5 Things You CAN Stare at directly
By Nik Varley Aug. 23, 2017 The Solar Eclipse has come and gone, which means that you can go back to staring at anything for as long as you want! Here are our…
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New Off-Ocean Program Brings Whales to UChicago
By Jacob Johnson April 23, 2016 DueAnnouncing to a new shared initiative between the SHAMU (Society for Humans Meeting Animal Undergraduates) University of Chicago and the Marine Biological Lab in Woods Hole Massachusetts,Saint…
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News in Brief: November 13, 2014
By Chicago Shady Dealer Nov. 19, 2014 Times Editor Seeks Ways to Maintain National Interest in School Shooting Sources close to the paper reported Friday that New York Times editor Dean Baquet was…
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Calculus Students Learn Drinking Limits Following Midterms
By Diane Zimmerman Nov. 10, 2012 The best place for a mathematician may be behind a counter, but reports this weekend found them on top of the bar. After a particularly difficult round…
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Answers to The Four Questions of Passover
By President Donald Trump April 13, 2017 Answers to The Four QuestionsBy Donald Trump Q: On all other nights, we eat chameitz and matzah. Why on this night, only matzah? A: First of…
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Ha! You’ve Brought a Sword to a Slightly Longer Sword Fight!
By Edward of Borsky, 1427 Jan. 22, 2016 Ha! ‘Tis a Lark! ‘Tis Woe! You’re foiled, My foe! For thou Hast bringeth a sword to a slightly longer sword fight! ‘Tis a fate,…
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Evidence Suggest Shady Dealer Staff Innocent
By Daniel Moattar May 14, 2014 The editorial staff of The Chicago Shady Dealer is innocent, the balance of evidence suggests. The evidence, which is largely circumstantial, hinges on an unprovable assertion that…
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How to Pretend to be Thankful Even Though Deep Down You’re a Brat
By Audrey Fromson Nov. 22, 2018 If you’re having trouble suppressing the brat in you this Thanksgiving, you’re not alone. Read on to find out how to fake it until you make…
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President Trump Holds Press Conference To Read List of Black Friends
By Reed Thurston Feb. 1, 2017 President Trump Holds Press Conference To Read List of Black Friends In the wake of a turbulent and unnerving transition of power, the newly-elected President Donald Trump…